therapist has suggested moving out

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by wheresmysheep, Apr 1, 2009.

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  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    so i started therapy last week.
    and she has strongly advised taht i moved out, and anyone following whats goign on with me i doubt will disagree, and i agree with her too. but i'm scared of doing it too fast.
    she wants me to look at finding a house share option so i'm not on my own and subseptable to attempting, which is understandable. and she wants me to do it asap.
    which ok, i know getting out of home will be healthy for me, buy i will feel like such a liar if i go and do it soon, cause of my whole "i dont like going out" or anxiety, and then going from taht to moving in with stranger/strangers.
    and thast even before i reach teh problem of money. so its scary.. idk. i just want other thoughts, views, pointers, am i just being irrational about all of this moving to fast? :unsure: i feel like a liar....
     
  2. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    So i don't know all ur history so Idk what u've been through but I do know anxiety as I've lived in fear all my life, it has controlled me and stop me from doing nething with my life. From big stuff to small stuff I've been scared by it all and it makes me feel like I've wasted my life. So what I'm getting to is that I wish I had someone to push me to force me to do stuff even if I was scare to do it, cause now I realize fear is part of life and by not confronting my fear, life has pasted me by.

    I don't think ur being irrational about all of this moving to fast, I think ur anxiety is trying to stop u from doing ne thing so weather u move out today or in a month from now u'd probably feel the same no matter how fast you'd be going. At least thats what it would be like for me but Idk if you'd feel the same way...

    I think u need to push urself and with the help of ur therapist u should be able to open new doors for urself and see a whole new world. one where fear doesn't control you..... If only I could listen to my own advice...

    Thats just what I thnik....Idk :)
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Sheep,
    If your therapist wants you to move then she probably has a good reason why..Why don't you look for a single roommate instead of two or three..Or maybe a boarding house where you have your own room and can lock the door. Your own little private spot..
    I know how scarrey it must be for you because I am an isolationist myself.. I don't know where I would be if my sister didn't take me in when she did. Probably dead...What ever you decide atleast keep up your therapy, it sounds like she/he really cares what is going on with you..Good Luck!!
     
  4. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i know its a scary thought when all of a sudden your bombarded with the thought of moving out but if people think its a good idea for you maybe looking around isnt a bad thing. if it un-nerves you then the whole fact you tried to will be a big step in itself. try to think of it all as the beginning and not let your anxiety get the better of you

    also sounds that you have found yourself a good therapist.. and believe me they are hard to come by! x :hug:
     
  5. bull$hitboy

    bull$hitboy Well-Known Member

    I don't know where you're living at the moment, so why are you being told to move?

    After I went and attempted suicide and then had a nervous breakdown; I got told to get out of my house by a very arrogant misunderstanding house mate in a very coarse and vulgar way. It all happened very fast, I decided to try and ignore him, but i couldn't live there.
    I then thought about finding a new place, but i didn't want to be on my own. I asked a friend of mine if they were interested in moving as well so we moved in together and I'm feeling better away from the stress but I'm not on my own. Being on my own for along time is not very good, well its not good for anyone.
     
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think being told by a therapist is very different than being told by a roommate...but there has to be a plan in place...why not process with our therapist the steps necessary to make this work...when things are seen in smaller steps, the work become much less overwhelming...best of luck, J
     
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Even though your therapist a made a suggestion, you should still take your time and plan it out. Discuss this with your therapist.
     
  8. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    yeah thats what we did today. i'm aiming for moving out in 8weeks. :unsure: it will be hell scary,a dn i dont know whats goign to happen between then and now. but we'll see.

    i would be looking for people to share an accomodation with, not a room. i could not share a room with anyone.so in that sense i'm looking for exactly what you said joseoph.

    my situation is too long and complicated to really explain and also its not common knowledge, in a sense i dont really talk about me and my problems too much. but i am being advised to move oout for my long term safety and theres no doubt that she is right for advising as such. i am going to be moving back out of my mothers house to live on my own again.
    well in a place with other people. but not family.

    ty all for replying. its goign to be very scary and yes, no matter when i go to do it, it will still be scary.
    :hug:
     
  9. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hi Sheep.

    I think it's a damn good idea to get out of that environment. If you live close to your home you can also invite your brother over whenever things get too complicated on his end or frightening on your end.

    As much as I loath Sacramento, I do like my living situation. I rented out a room in a house with four other students. It's been an absolute breeze compared to living with my parents. And even though I go through periods of extreme introversion (no doubt to my roommate's annoyance), I value their company and we've had some good times together.

    Here's a couple of thoughts that were bouncing around my head when I hit , "reply".

    1. Set rent to be 1/3 or less of your income.
    2. Try to never have a utility in your name. Otherwise, you'll either go crazy with lazy roommates, or kill somebody :tongue:
    3. Move to a place where you feel safe and in control. In your case, maybe somewhere around town. Or perhaps in Dublin near your bf's?
    4. Remember that no matter where you are, there you'll be. So you, your bf, SF, and all your other support units will exist wherever you move.
    5. Most importantly, you've done this before. Take comfort in knowing that you can and have done this before.
     
  10. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    thanks james :hug: and if i'm ever on me feet enough to havae my own place, you are more than welcome out of sacramento :smile:
     
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