My therapist said that his supervisor said that i could not get a new therapist because any problems that i have with him should be dealt with through therapy by him and that they did not have any room for me to see someone else, so I am stuck with him. I can go to a different organization but that would mean having to change my psychiatrist as well, which i don't want to do because I like her, so I have to either stay there and put up with my bad therapist only to see the good doctor or go somewhere new and have to see a new doctor as well. I am only staying at this current place for my meds and the doctor. Today I got into an argument with him because he kept on wanting to talk about things that i did not want to talk about because they are very triggering and make me feel 10 times worse. Plus we already spoke about those specific things in the past and I did not want to go over it again. It is like we are going in circles with these certain issues and it makes me feel like dying every time I think about them. He believes if there is something that i don't want to talk about, then that gives us more reason to talk about it, to scratch the surface, he has no respect or boundaries given the fact that i am in a vulnerable state. There are certain things I want to avoid or not think about and he wants to do the opposite, he believes in that. It never helps to think or talk about these certain things, especially since I already talked about it many times over and over again, in circles. I feel he is out to get me, to reveal things about me, to hurt me, to make me feel less of a person, to scare the living shit out of me with his triggering subjects. I feel like drinking, or cutting, i feel like I am not going to make it anymore. I feel like i might as well should be dead. Even my therapist who is supposed to help me is on the other team. Why does he do that to me. I feel violated and abused.