Therapist making things worse

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Auerbach, Jul 31, 2014.

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  1. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    My therapist said that his supervisor said that i could not get a new therapist because any problems that i have with him should be dealt with through therapy by him and that they did not have any room for me to see someone else, so I am stuck with him. I can go to a different organization but that would mean having to change my psychiatrist as well, which i don't want to do because I like her, so I have to either stay there and put up with my bad therapist only to see the good doctor or go somewhere new and have to see a new doctor as well. I am only staying at this current place for my meds and the doctor.

    Today I got into an argument with him because he kept on wanting to talk about things that i did not want to talk about because they are very triggering and make me feel 10 times worse. Plus we already spoke about those specific things in the past and I did not want to go over it again. It is like we are going in circles with these certain issues and it makes me feel like dying every time I think about them. He believes if there is something that i don't want to talk about, then that gives us more reason to talk about it, to scratch the surface, he has no respect or boundaries given the fact that i am in a vulnerable state. There are certain things I want to avoid or not think about and he wants to do the opposite, he believes in that. It never helps to think or talk about these certain things, especially since I already talked about it many times over and over again, in circles.

    I feel he is out to get me, to reveal things about me, to hurt me, to make me feel less of a person, to scare the living shit out of me with his triggering subjects.

    I feel like drinking, or cutting, i feel like I am not going to make it anymore. I feel like i might as well should be dead. Even my therapist who is supposed to help me is on the other team. Why does he do that to me. I feel violated and abused.
     
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    That is pure bullshit - therapists are not one-size fits all

    One that I had been assigned to years ago knew my father - things did not go well

    Therapy won't always be "comfortable" by definition. Now maybe it's just me but forcing someone to continue seeing a therapist that they don't find a connection with seems unethical and counterproductive.

    Since you like your psych I suggest you explain this to them and see what options you're can come up with together
     
  3. Viktor

    Viktor Well-Known Member

    Good therapist that is good for you is actually pretty hard to find. Therapist is a stranger whom you are telling your personal stuff. Means you need to feel like saying all that to him. You need to trust him. Means he needs to be good for you as a person. If they simply assigned you to random therapist, it's pretty stupid. Did you tell them that you don't like your therapist? Definitely do that. They absolutely shouldn't forcing you visiting this therapist if you don't like him. Tell them that you like your psychiatrist and that you don't like your therapist and why and that you want some different one.
     
  4. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I would seriously consider not going back to him altogether if that's the way it's going to be. But honestly, some times, certain therapist believe that the direct & confronting of the deepest issues is the best and most effective method to getting immediate results. Obviously, this approach doesn't work with everybody. I sincerely hope that he is not doing any of those things with that ill intent of which you spoke. And I don't think that he is (of course I wasn't there); rather, my best guess is that he just made an improper read of you and poorly chose his tactics. But what do I know- P.S. I'd talk to his direct supervisor myself; or somebody else in charge if they won't listen, and explain very clearly & concisely the situation (that this is bullshit!)
     
  5. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    I think there is a bit of validity in addressing issues with therapy in therapy (sometimes it helps to talk frankly about conflicts or percieved conflicts) but I also think that there is a point where it's no longer helpful. I, too, would suggest talking to the pdoc about it and seeing what she says... I hope you can find a way to have helpful therapy.
     
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    What do you want out of Therapy?
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    if it is not a good connection then forcing it won't make it better i am sure your therapist means well but is not listening to you and that is not a good thing A therapist needs to go at the pace the client is comfortable with and not force anything tell your therapist that ok
     
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