Therapist Said..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by absolution, Jan 15, 2013.

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  1. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    On the first day of therapy my therapist told me that she would only be concerned if i started planning ways in which to take my life. The other day is when I started planning. Something absolutely heart wrenching happened and even though it's fixed it still hurts so bad. SO bad..

    That night i got into planning it for real. It was the scariest, most beautiful thing in the world. I was going to be free of pain but i wasn't going to be here with the people i love. It scared the shit out of me because i was ready to do it. Completely ready.

    Now i'm sitting here crying my fucking eyes out for no reason and wishing i had continued planning and followed through. It hurts so bad and the thoughts in my head make me feel like i'm drowning.

    Oh hey, no one read this.
  2. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    I've read it, so sorry to hear you are struggling :hug: Here if you need to talk :hug:
  3. Wysteria Blue

    Wysteria Blue Well-Known Member


    I do hope that you can put these plans away and not think on them anymore...and enjoy the family and blessings that you do have.
    It is so very hard to fight these feelings and I wish you only peace.
    Try to think on some things to be grateful for today..maybe that will put things back into balance a bit..
  4. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    thank you both.
    I will try to do that ^^ thank you.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you can talk to your therapist hun who can and will help you deal with all the pain and sadness inside Don't give up on YOU ok hugs
  6. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I can't talk to her really though... Like.. :/ she basically hinted at having me committed to a ward so i don't hurt myself. I can't do that again. I can't feel that trapped again it will drive me insane.. I would die.
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Perhaps you could talk around it. Tell her that you are feeling worse and need something more. See if she can help without you giving her the info where you would end up hospitalized
  8. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I'll try that thank you :)
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