therapist trying to change my mind or admit me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by chrism67, May 24, 2012.

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  1. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    He had alot of questions for me today. I know it was an suicide assesment. To find out how suicidal i am. I knew where i was going so i knew how to answer.i use to be scared to kill myself and that was one thing that kept me out of the hospital. Nowi found a way around that. My plan now includes a suicide by cop. One thing i omitted im his line of questioning. I dont see anything in my way now.
     
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Don't take this the wrong way, because it is not meant to be against you or to put you down in any way. I'm just asking. If you are not going to be upfromt wit hthe therapist, what is the purpose of even utilizing a therapist? They can only help you if you are up front and honest with them. There are ways to help and many people do get helped out of their down times and are glad for that later. Cops (police) are here to "serve and protect." Some, not all, take that very seriously. Many are scarred for life when they are forced into a position that contributes to the loss of a life. Consider that because you never know, the cop could be a really nice person. If you discuss openly with the therapist, they can provide a real evaluation and with that some measures for potential wellness. Almost everyone who is in dispair hopes or at least wishes that there was a better solution, a "cure" so to speak, before they do anything as drastic as suicide. Would it be bad to be more up front with the therapist and at least try for a solution before turning off the switch? If you're planning to put an end anyways, then really there isn't anything to lose by trying to resolve in a different way that results in wellness vs. endings.

    Just some thoughts. As I said, I'm just speaking out loud and certainly not trying to oppose your ideas or what not. I assume you posted here for comments, feedback, suggestions, and conversation. I wish for you only the best.
     
  3. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Giving him all the info would put me back in the hospital. I was just there a month ago. Without yhe info he was trying to get me to be proactive now so i end up where i want rather than having 911 take me somewhere. He doesnt get it that i dont want to go bacl in.
     
  4. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hello
    The post pichwithaustin had some very valid points.I know hospital sux but to get well you do have to let people help and you have to help yourself also.Working on rebuilding your inner strength and confidence does take work but let these people help guide you.They are only trying to make sure you are safe they arnt your enemies and putting people in hosp isnt done for punishment its done for your own safety.Take care
     
  5. yep

    yep Well-Known Member

    Hi
    You seem to have learnt how to fool people so you are not sent to hospital. I believe it is a valid point to do what you think is best for you including the decision you took about working with a therapist so you can recover and have a fulfilling life. At the same time, I need to agree that by not being honest with people who try to help you, you place yourself at risk as you block the possibility of your therapist or someone else supporting in other ways that do not necessarily include hospitalization.
    From what I can see in your story, you do want to live but you just haven’t found what can be useful for you yet. Let’s be clear about this, you don't want to kill yourself, you do want to end the suffering and the fact that you may have not found a better way to deal with it is what make it look like there is not other option. I suggest you visit the chat here and have a go with real people who are , just like you, struggling and finding ways to survive every day. It at worse, will help you to feel you are not alone in this struggle.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2012
  6. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I cant do it anymore. my therapist wants to put me in without knowing everything. Im sure he would 302 me. I cant go on anymore. I want all of this to end.
     
  7. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    You said yourself you won't tell him everything... so honestly, how can he know everything? Try telling him?
     
  8. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    its your right to not be admitted to a hospital in my opinion, but wanting to do suicide by cop shows instability

    thats involving another person in something that should be solitary and removed

    if you really want to die, youd be able to lie to him effectively, thats what being a soulless husk will do to you over time

    but i dont think you do, and even though i was very close to just being a husk, theres always something there that wants something better
     
  9. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I want things to get better but i just have no hope it actually will. I am going through rage episodes. To a point i want to ram someone with my car. I feel like a burden. But at the same time my mood has been very good. Maybe its because i see a light at the end of the tunnel. My plan has all its pieces in a row.
     
  10. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    I think that pleasant feeling is the euphoria prior to a suicide attempt. A manifestation of the brain that it is about to reacj a preconcieved conclusion. Your going to have to talk about the origin these rage fits. The cops wont give you what u want either they will do worse however. Its time to start talkin dude.
     
  11. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Well i dont really know what to say. Im all ready and set to go. And am feeling pretty goodd about it. My ducks are all in a row.
     
  12. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Have you considered investing in the same kind of planning toward wellness?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2012
  13. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    U could say alright ill put away may plan. now how exactly am I suppose to cope. And we can go from there.
     
  14. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Ive tried coping. Im in therapy 2x a week. Amd im in a partial hosp program from 3-5 days aweek. And i see my doc every 2-3 weeks. As well i have a case manager i see every week. Ive had this for a while and nothing is getting better. I was in the hosp last month and all arrows are pointing there again. And i just cant go again.
     
  15. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    Sorry for hiw ling the response took phone died. I understand what u are saying. But I beleive your anger is driving you. You have to step back from it and asses your situation and either accept what is cuasing conflict in you or do something to change it. And that can only be found in ca choice o overcome simply for the sake of claiming victory. If u think about it maybe its worth winning simply to say that you were not overcome becuase u will have taken back what was taken, your peace of mind. I hope that your burden is lighter and im sorry if ive made your day more difficult. I hope u wont give up.
     
  16. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Im feeling pretty good. My plans are set. And all ready to go. My pain will finally be gone.
     
  17. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Pain is only really gone when wellness is achieved. Death is not wellness, it is just the most severe aspect of pain. Until you give the professionals ALL of the HONEST information that you are keeping from them about yourself, you really can't expect that you have tried everything. How can they actually really provide a solution if you've held back info? This is like looking at a calculator and hoping that the solution to a math equation will pop onto the screen... when no input numbers have been entered.
     
  18. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    The only solution he will give me is throwing me in the hospital. I dont see that ending my pain. They tried that last month.
     
  19. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    Again u can stay here and talk to us. If your therapist was going to admit yououldnt have got out the door last time. You can talk to people here with similar paths and find new road to walk. Just please talk to us.
     
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