Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by plates, Jun 11, 2009.

  1. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    What do you think of a therapist who doesn't want to talk about 'right and wrong?' and doesn't want to talk about abuse, if it's anything other than childhood abuse by parents?

    Have you ever felt exploited by a therapist?

    Have you ever felt like the therapist creates a lie that is 'you' for you to believe is yourself, and when you challenge their idea, you come up against a brick wall that doesn't listen at all?
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Erm, as for 'right and wrong', the only reason I can think of is because therapists aren't supposed to make decisions for you or tell you what is right and wrong, I believe they are there to encourage you in your decisions only. :dunno:

    Has your therapist explained why she/he doesn't want to talk about abuse? I think its rather strange that they wouldn't want to talk about it.
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    They aren't supposed to tell you, "keep yourself safe from certain people if X is harmful" "what someone did there was unacceptable and shouldn't have happened?" I don't know, but my last therapist wasn't like this, she worked at a domestic violence substance abuse place and their aim was trying to make people a lot more conscious about what they were in and to break the cycles that they found themselves in. If someone was being hurt and was confused over whether what they were going through was acceptable, then surely a therapist would be responsible for helping the person see, rather than perpetuating it?

    From what I can remember, she apologised once for "invalidating and confusing me" about certain things I told her about my ex gf, but I'm "not at the stage where I wouldn't think something was abuse." Thing is, I've been like that all my life when it comes to people treating me badly, so realising and voicing it is a change from the past- one that she has validated and encouraged my confusion/mixed feelings and self hate etc.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 11, 2009
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry.I didnt realize the seriousness of the situation. I thought you mean in general.

    I agree in that case that they should tell you to keep yourself safe from person X etc..and responsible for telling that person what they should do to keep them safe.
    Have you told your therapist how you feel about this?

    If you want to talk about the exact situation, you're more than welcome to use my pm box :)

    Also, you might wanna check out the link in my signature..there is qualified therapists at that site too which should know how to deal with the situation.
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    OK. Thank you for the link and offer to talk but it's ok just venting here or writing a lot helps me think things through. It's serious, yeah.

    I told her and she keeps on making it out that it's got to do with a personality disorder of being 'very angry when people don't agree with you' and other such BS.
  6. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    **I'm sorry, my therapist was the opposite, constantly looking for abuse issues, when there were none.

    To me, it's a matter of 'inadequacy' rather than exploitation. They should talk about anything you want to. The many, many I had, always did....I'm sorry that they won' should be able to be open with your therapist about anything in my opinion.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You're welcome!

    If that's her attitude you might wanna think about changing therapists :sad: She should listen to what you're saying, and she's clearly not.
  8. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your replies.

    I feel she exploited me when I signed a consent form to be her case study when I wasn't fully aware of what I was doing. And after a while, when I tried to talk to her about that, her responses were so so guarded. I felt like I'd depended on her a lot when I was all over the place and I was dying, not well, or acting in a way that I couldn't control etc.

    Yeah, shades, some therapists are like that. It's interesting the minute I told her about childhood abuse after a year of not talking about anything like that, I could really see the glee on her face :rolleyes: but when it comes to other things after a certain age, or with things in the here and now, she tries to make it out like it's something to do with my 'perception' and some kinda psychopathological thing.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 11, 2009