Well In my day to day struggle with living, I decide to turn to a therapist and see if they could help steer my thoughts in the right direction. I've only been a few times now and I'm still not sure what I make of it. I'm not always straight with them, for example she asks If I have suicidal thoughts...ok I answer yes. then asks do you have a plan? That's when I lie and say...nope no plan just thoughts, but that's a lie out of fear they'll try and send me to a psychiatric ward. Not a place I care to be at the moment. So I'm basically just sitting there letting some emotions pour out as I talk about certain events In my life. Then bam times up see ya next week...or will you? I've always viewed myself as an easy going, open minded person, part of the reason I decided to go. But after every session I leave with a sense of, do I really need this? I mean they listen and try to curve my thoughts, but I know what I did wrong and nothing they say will change that. I just sit there and wonder why did I make these decisions, and if I had sought treatment earlier on in life, I might not be in the situation I'm in today. I think that's what makes my therapy a struggle as well, because I am constantly thinking to myself that it could help, just that its a little to late for me. It's as if I've come to the realization that's my life is finished, yet here was a way you could have corrected it long ago.