Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, Oct 17, 2013.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm questioning the this and the "process" as it likes to be called. I'm left feeling exposed, not quite there, very alone and angry. I'm really angry. With myself but I think with other things but I know not what they might be. I'm exhausted too, truly weary to the bone afterwards. And some of what got me upset (what I was working on last night) wasn't even asked about. So why? Why do this? It's sooo frustrating when I feel like I'm left hanging on a high wire on my own, no safety net.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'd say then stop going. Obviously this therapist isn't the one for you. Ask him/her if they could recommend another person or look into it yourself. Going to a session and coming home feeling worse than when you went is unproductive and may even lead to a hard fall. Try another therapist.
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I asked my doc that very question - "Why do I feel WORSE after I see you? It's like everything I try to put a lid on, you want cut open again."

    He explained that the process of therapy is a means of opening up and dealing with things. In a controlled way. Sometimes there are hurts from the past and we need to deal with them, not hide them. He asks questions that also provoke other things. Sometimes allowing out one feeling, uncovers others or other issues. Sometimes, he asks about what I'm dealing with in life right now. Sometimes, therapy is a process to "uncover" what we don't know is hurting us - and when we find out, we have feelings about it, probably sadness and anger. Therapy exposes all of that. Exposing a wound, reopening it to look at it, can be painful. If we don't expose it, it festers and gets worse. He said that he opens things up bit by bit, again and again, so that one day I will find that it doesn't hurt and that I've got the coping skills for dealing with it if it does hurt. We also talked a bit about strategies if we seem to have gone too far too fast (btw, those have to be tailored to the individual).

    Your T, my doc, anyone's counsellor cannot know they're going too fast or pushing too hard or leaving us feeling at sea if we don't tell them. If they are worth their salt as professionals, they will help us create a workable therapy plan, have a check in on how we're coping with the stuff they're having us uncover, and will actively help us find new coping skills, if we let them know how we're doing.

    You did a good thing for yourself and your ability to cope by coming here and talking about this today. Perhaps an open conversation with your T is in order - let him/her know how much you hurt after a session. Ask if hurting like that is his/her expectation for you - is it part of his/her "treatment plan." Does he/she have suggestions for how you are to cope after a session? If you don't get satisfactory answers, then maybe it is time to consider a different therapist.
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Yes Moan, Acy very right. You got to be talking to your therapist during this process.... How you doing, feeling and coping

    This is your life dear!!! Need to have some control in and during the process. Take the time at start of next session to start that talking tween you both...
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you so much for your thoughts. :grouphug:

    I've just started dealing with some of my traumas, so this is different than normal, so to speak. I will definitely raise this issue this week. I know that taking off some of the bandage is part of it all. And I was letting off steam because I get frustrated with myself mostly.
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Mo, I just found this thread. Its hard, what you write about. I was there once. In a similar place. I said to the therapist "I hope you know how to deal with the outcome of what you are getting into. Because I dont". I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff. Looking down. And there was the real danger of me falling. I did end up dealing with the issue. But it took a long time. I so agree with what has been said. Please do discuss this with her. listen carefully to her answers. Hopefully you can build a team of real trust from discussions about the process you are entering into.... with her. I am here for you. But I know that is not enough. I have been on the edge of my cliff. So I know what it feels like ( from my perspective) :hug: