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There’s only 1 way out but I can’t seem to take it.

#1
For a few weeks I have felt increasingly trapped inside my own mind. I am unable to engage any other part of my body to feel anything. I constantly think about my way out but seem to be unable to take it. I know that in the long term the people in my life would be better off without me in it. But my family, friends and the people I support would be lost without me for a while and I don’t want to be a cause of any of them feeling the way that I do. I don’t know what to do, say, think or feel but I can see a way out but I can’t take it. I don’t feel safe in wider society, I’m unpredictable and I’m not sure that I wouldn’t hurt other people when I’m out. I don’t know how to start feeling better, everyday my therapy seems to be getting further and further away from starting and at this point I don’t even think that it’s going to work. If anyone knows another way out please let me know
 

Walker

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#2
Hello there. Welcome to SF. We're really glad you're here to talk with us. I'm sorry you've arrive here feeling so bad. You said you've been feeling this way for a few weeks? Did anything in particular happen to make you feel so bad?
Our brains have a way of really making us think that the people in our lives would really really really be better off without us but that's a lie created by the darkness of depression. Have you ever looked at your mom or your sibling or whoever and thought the world would be better off without them? I know I haven't. But I sure have thought that people would be better off without me around plenty of times.
You don't need to take the road of suicide to get out of the way you're feeling today. There are other ways to deal with what you're going through. You owe it to yourself to fight as hard as you can, right?
 
#3
Hello there. Welcome to SF. We're really glad you're here to talk with us. I'm sorry you've arrive here feeling so bad. You said you've been feeling this way for a few weeks? Did anything in particular happen to make you feel so bad?
Our brains have a way of really making us think that the people in our lives would really really really be better off without us but that's a lie created by the darkness of depression. Have you ever looked at your mom or your sibling or whoever and thought the world would be better off without them? I know I haven't. But I sure have thought that people would be better off without me around plenty of times.
You don't need to take the road of suicide to get out of the way you're feeling today. There are other ways to deal with what you're going through. You owe it to yourself to fight as hard as you can, right?
Not one thing specifically has happened this is just a build up of things over time. Everytime I look at anyone I have an emotionally connection with I genuinely believe that once they had processed my passing they would be better off. They would be able to do what they want/need to do with their lives rather than me dragging them back all the time. I’m not sure that anything else would work right now tbh, I don’t believe that the therapy will work either, I know that tablets won’t help they will only numb the pain, until my body gets used to them.
If anything I owe to everyone that I have hurt or hindered to not cause anymore pain/suffering to them or anyone new for that matter
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
If anything I owe to everyone that I have hurt or hindered to not cause anymore pain/suffering to them
I'm afraid that's exactly what you would do if you killed yourself @T1L3 . They may well be hurting and afraid already because they sense how much you are and feel powerless to make you feel better, and losing you by suicide would leave an agonizing hole in their hearts which may never heal . Those who love you suffer and would suffer immeasurably more because they love you, and since its they who would suffer the most from what you're contemplating I think you owe it to them to at least reach out and tell them how you 're feeling and thinking, and why. Try to make the connection and accept their love.

I know the pain you're in feels unbearable, but your compassion for them, and theirs for you, can help you all to suffer less, but you need to reach out to them, to communicate. SF is also a good place to join your pain to that of others and to give and receive the non judgemental, compassionate acceptance, understanding and support we all need. Welcome!
 
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#5
Lara C is very compassionate and wise....her words are so true. She is correct...the hole that your death would leave In the hearts of those who love you will never heal...And personally for me that is the only thing that has kept me here for the last 3 years.
 
#6
I know that tablets won’t help they will only numb the pain, until my body gets used to them.
Taking medication may keep you from killing yourself, which would give you time to make some positive changes in your life. If the alternative is a suicide attempt, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from taking medication.

In most cases, there's a way to make things better so that you feel glad to be alive. The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods.

I hope something can help.
 
#7
Taking medication may keep you from killing yourself, which would give you time to make some positive changes in your life. If the alternative is a suicide attempt, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from taking medication.

In most cases, there's a way to make things better so that you feel glad to be alive. The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods.

I hope something can help.
I don’t really want to take medication, I know people who have been on antidepressants and other similar medications for years and only feel numb, at least how I am I am feeling something, anything. I can’t seem to find the right words to the right people to help. My family and friends are doing everything that they can but it just comes over me like a wave and drags me back to sea.
I don’t know if suicide is the answer but I can’t seem to be able to find any answer right now. I’ve been on antidepressants before and all that happens is I switch on autopilot and stop feeling anything at all, which is worse than how I feel now.
Thank you for your kind words, it does bring a smile to my face to know that there are people who genuinely care and not just because they have to because they are a friend or family member and society dictates that they should care
 
#8
I’ve been on antidepressants before and all that happens is I switch on autopilot and stop feeling anything at all, which is worse than how I feel now
Not all antidepressants will necessarily have the same effects. Maybe you could ask your doctor if there is an antidepressant that wouldn't make you feel that way.

You might want to check out the link in my signature for some information about other treatments you could try.

Thank you for your kind words
You're welcome! :)
 

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