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There and back again....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sollepus, Feb 4, 2012.

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  1. sollepus

    sollepus Member

    I initially joined this site after two suicide attempts (several years apart). I went to treatment, changed my meds and continued with followup therapy. But here I am again. I know there are success stories here. I know everyone here is strong, which is why I am reaching out. I feel weak again.

    My bf asked me what was wrong, and though he knows I am a cutter, I couldn't even bring myself to tell him I was feeling suicidal again. And for no real major reason either.

    I guess I just needed to vent and talk and if anyone has any advice, please share. I have been to a psychiatric ward which was great and therapy which was okay. Any other suggestions? Anyway, thanks for reading.
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Hi there,

    I my self gave it (suicide) a go three times in three weeks about three and a half years ago. So, I think I know a little bit about how you feel. Perhaps the particulars of your situation differ from mine, and, I guess that doesn't really matter when considering incredible amounts of pain. Pain that pushes the depths of tolerance within the human mind, body & soul.

    Did you ever wind up finding a medication that suited you ideally? If so, are you still on this or any other drug that works effectively? If, on the other hand, you are no longer seeking professional help--such as therapy and the like, & they found success for you previously, perhaps that's one thing to consider returning to.

    Personally, I would tell my own girl friend if I was feeling this way, regardless of the reason. And yes, no reason at all is a reason. As depression is a biological, medical condition. A disease of the brain, which is an organ, much like the Heart. Yet, we don't hear people question why we've got heart disease. But then again, that is just me, & what do I know!

    Take care of your self and best of luck to you!
  3. sollepus

    sollepus Member

    I thought I had the right combo of meds. My psych switched them up and we tried different combos several months ago. I was feeling better for a while, but here I am again. I was supposed to have a psych appointment last week, but she was sick so they moved me to later this month.

    With therapy, I stopped, because after trying so many different types and therapists, it just didn't seem to help very much. I am glad I learned what I did from them and was able to explore myself, so to speak. However, it just started to have less and less effect and became redundant. I get more out of chatting on sites like this than from therapy at this point. I realize it may be a matter of finding the right therapist, but I don't have the money to try new ones.

    Thank you so much for the encouragement. It's always so nice to get insight and hear from someone who can understand, even if the exact circumstances may be different. Take care as well!
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