There And Back

[TTrocP]

So I'm talking to my therapist wednesday and she's straight forward and she asks if im suicidal and i say yes, then she asks if i have a plan set up. i say yes.......im sent to the hospital. i just got out today. while i was there i was so pissed but now looking back on it it was actually a really great thing for me. I now know i have OCD, major depresive disorder and some anxienty disorder and now i have meds for all of them. I also flushed my stash. It was extremely hard, i stood at the toilet for a good while and a tear even came down. but when i let them fall from the container and land in the toilet i put my hand on the flusher and waiting a second, then pushed.....it felt sooo good. it was better than any cut or any burn. It wasnt just relief and it was more than hope.....it was the begining of happiness. I realized if i plan to become happy, i can't keep extreme negatives in my pressense. I know how hard it is to come out but once it does and you get on that wagon.... god it feels good, i really hope that some more people hear can experience what i have.

 

[WeepingWillow]

I dont know you. But I am sincerely glad you are back.
I cant imagine the relief you felt but it is SO encouraging and hopeful
it sounds attainable
I had anxiety disorder. I am over that but I have other things going on.
I hope you are doing wonderfully right now. You sound like you have ripped yourself away from some ropes tying you in. I am looking for that now. Your post is truly encouraging. Thank you.
I hope you keep feeling up.

 

[TTrocP]

Yea it feels much better already....and the meds havnt even started to kick in yet.
I really need to thank everyone on SF, this site is amazing, it has kept me going when I thought I couldn't. THere is just so much positiveness and so much love coming from hear I can't imagine what would have happened to me if I hadn't stumbled across this site. THank you everyone so much