There And Back

Discussion in 'Let it all out...' started by TTrocP, Sep 11, 2006.

  1. TTrocP

    TTrocP Guest

    So I'm talking to my therapist wednesday and she's straight forward and she asks if im suicidal and i say yes, then she asks if i have a plan set up. i say yes.......im sent to the hospital. i just got out today. while i was there i was so pissed but now looking back on it it was actually a really great thing for me. I now know i have OCD, major depresive disorder and some anxienty disorder and now i have meds for all of them. I also flushed my stash. It was extremely hard, i stood at the toilet for a good while and a tear even came down. but when i let them fall from the container and land in the toilet i put my hand on the flusher and waiting a second, then pushed.....it felt sooo good. it was better than any cut or any burn. It wasnt just relief and it was more than hope.....it was the begining of happiness. I realized if i plan to become happy, i can't keep extreme negatives in my pressense. I know how hard it is to come out but once it does and you get on that wagon.... god it feels good, i really hope that some more people hear can experience what i have.
     
  2. WeepingWillow

    WeepingWillow Well-Known Member

    I dont know you. But I am sincerely glad you are back.
    I cant imagine the relief you felt but it is SO encouraging and hopeful
    it sounds attainable
    I had anxiety disorder. I am over that but I have other things going on.
    I hope you are doing wonderfully right now. You sound like you have ripped yourself away from some ropes tying you in. I am looking for that now. Your post is truly encouraging. Thank you.
    I hope you keep feeling up.
     
  3. TTrocP

    TTrocP Guest

    Yea it feels much better already....and the meds havnt even started to kick in yet.
    I really need to thank everyone on SF, this site is amazing, it has kept me going when I thought I couldn't. THere is just so much positiveness and so much love coming from hear I can't imagine what would have happened to me if I hadn't stumbled across this site. THank you everyone so much