This might be a little long and confusing. So a very recent cause of my depression is the fact that a girl I love very much, lets call her Z, is with another man. The only reason she is with him is because I never came out and made her my girlfriend. So she went to another. She says she wants to explore her feelings for him... however I know her. I know she will not do any real exploring. I want her back, so very badly. I made mistakes over the past couple of years. I just want one last chance to make her happy. She says stuff like, you know how I feel about you or I will probably screw up this relationship anyway. It is like she enjoys stomping on my heart. Being with a guy who will eventually dump her, or saying that I might get another chance another day. The sad thing is I am so very hopeful that this day will come. I want to be with her, I know I can make her happy. I made her happy for 3 years. The only thing I did not give her was a title. Stupid mistake I know. I make no excuses any more, it was just me being stupid and not thinking. To make things worse Z has not really changed our relationship all that much. The only thing we don't do any more is kiss and engage in intercourse. Otherwise she is just as affectionate as she ever was with me. She will randomly try to get my attention with hugs and snuggles. Then she will go off and flaunt her relationship in my face when her new man calls. It has been months since I had Z completely to myself. She always calls this guy right back when she gets a call. Yet for me she maybe calls me back 3 or 4 days later. To make things even worse when I open up to her, she cries. She cries like I just broke her heart. She tells me that it is because she knows I mean what I say, and that she still has some feelings for me. Yet she won't come back to me. Enter in girl number 2, lets call her Y. Y is a very sweet and loving girl. I really like Y, and am trying to pursue something with her. Well I think I am, I have never been very good with knowing what females want or how to show them my interest. However, there are my feelings for Z that come into play. I am scared to do anything with Y, despite how much I am coming to like her. I just met Y, and I feel a good connection. Now here is my problem, I want to be with Z more than I want to be with Y. However, I do not want to pass up a chance to be with Y. I do not want to pass up a chance with the only other girl who has ever shown an interest in me. However, I cannot help but feel like I am using Y. I know that right now if Z became available I would dump Y once Z was ready to be with me. I also know that I am scared of losing Z forever, if I pursue Y. Z will just write me off as never wanting to have been with her in the first place. Then she won't give me a second chance. It is also not fair to Y for me to be with her as long as Z is not available. Then there are my true feelings about Y. I really like her and want to get closer to her. However, part of me cannot help but feel I want to replace the intimate physical relationship I had with Z. I am scared that everything I am feeling is driven by my libido and not my heart. Granted I feel that the two have to be connected. Still I don't want Y to think I am only into her for one reason. I am very confused about what I should do. I know I cannot escape this without losing something and hurting someone. I am just confused as to what to do.. as to what my heart is telling me. Can anyone give me some insight or personal experience? My heart is being torn apart because I do not know what to do... I don't know anything... thanks.