I haven't lived up to much of any kind of expectations, pregnant at 17, drop out of school middle of 12th grade, got my GED though, tried two different colleges, lasted 2 months at one, as far as I could stand it, haven't had a job for 16 years, all the past overdosing I did, my poor way of handling things now, never being able to finish anything, had an abortion I will always regret, there's alot of negative things I could say about myself, but I don't hate myself because life has been hard. You shouldn't either. You seriously need to stop being so damn hard on yourself. Nobody's perfect.
I too wasn't living up to expectations - but those expectations were WRONG. There are extenuating circumstances to everything - which makes expectations unfair.
Example... You need to pick up 10 rocks each day. In the real world though, if you have a shadow that says if you pick up a rock, I'll shoot out your knee, the chances are that you're not going to pick up 10 rocks each day or any at all.
You need to understand what you can do, and what you want to do, and then you design your own personal expectations.
I lived below expectations all the time especially when my parents keep ranting at me and comparing me with others.. I feel like a loser and a low-life failure.. My senior counsellor conducted first 3 sessions in a room and others during slow runs.. Made me complete a 21km (my first ever long run ever in my life).. I got addicted to the finisher memories and i did my 42km and my 100km and i keep using the finisher medals to remind myself i am NOT a low-life failure or a loser.
Try a marathon and finish it. You will know the difference when you finished a marathon run.. Try it.. :hug: It's an achievement..