Hi. I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I know, truly do, what it feels like to be on the edge and how it feels to feel like killing yourself is the only good option - but these emotions simply aren't true!
I know you have been in a lot of pain recently and how you are struggling with lock down. I know HM's government has been failing you of recent. I know you haven't been able to get the help you deserve. Don't give up! You can get the help you deserve, you can feel better, you won't feel isolated forever, lock down will pass.
Please reconsider. Stay with us, where you can share your pain. There is always hope and things can get better for you, even if it seems impossible now. If I could end your pain, I would. Even if we don't know you in person, people here care about you and your life.
I hope you're still with us. I really do, I know how painful that feeling is so automatically I want to reply.
There's a lot of rubbish in your life, I'm assuming. Things not going right. Things that have always been wrong.
What's kept you here so far? What, who, where has kept you moving forward? Hope, family, friends, in my case that huge bar of choccy in the fridge at home. Big or small, you've stayed til now. Maybe those things have changed but with that, other reasons have come along. And as much as the rest of the world is falling apart, those little things are holding on and are WORTH holding on for. Believe me.
Lots of people here have experienced moments where they've attempted. And I know many will tell you it's not worth it. I'm in a terrible place right now, but I'm still glad mine wasnt successful - there was a lot afterwards which I am so grateful to have experienced.
Even if it's just waiting for one more good day, hold on. We are here for you, always.
Hi @MsLeftie and welcome here. Can you tell us some more about what brought you here? It can help to share your feelings with understanding listeners and I hope you give the good people here a chance to help change your mind.