there is no more light only darkness

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thenewsoftheworld, Nov 22, 2014.

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  1. im new here but this is my story i was madly in love with the perfect girl and i was so happy that i shared my happiness with others i said that i had light in my heart and i wanted to give a little to those who were in the darkness but then things started to change. first my brother was locked away for a crime he did not commit,then my 15 year old nephew was murdered for no reason , my best friend of 10 years died from sickle cell, and my wife left me on my birthday. she told me that she was coming back but instead found another man and moved in with him after a month of knowing him. and now she says she hates me even though when her own family disowned her i was stayed by her side no matter what and i always tried to make her happy i put my entire soul into our marriage just to see it crumble before me. the light i shared with others is completely gone from my heart and soul and no one will help me with my sorrow that i am in now. i wish to die so that all of my pain will vanish and i dont have to cry every night and day. i wish to be saved from this world that would laugh at my pain. i truly wish to end it all or somehow have amnesia so that i can forget all of this pain. and to this day i am still married to her praying that i can have her back but i know it wont happen its like God and Satan is making me suffer.

    so that is my story. thank you for reading.
  2. Marga

    Marga Active Member

    Hello thenewsoftheworld, I am also new here. I am sorry for the way you are feeling. I can totally relate to your story.. I also had light in my heart and then suddenly lost it...:( A lot of harsh things happened in your life all at once, you lost some very impprtant people, no wonder it was too much for you and you are in pain. Hopefully time should help to make it less unbearable. From what you wrote, i can see you are a really nice person who cares for others. Maybe try to give some of that care and love also to yourself because you are no worse than others and you deserve it. Althouh I know how difficult it is, I am also struggling and don't love myself much at the moment. It would probably help to think less of your wife. If she sais she will come back and she doesn't it's only hurting you to keep on waiting for her. You deserve to be treated better, with respet.
  3. i dont know if i will ever be happy again
  4. ToughItOut

    ToughItOut Member

    Can a good hypnotherapist make you forget?
  5. i dont know where to find one?
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Search the net for one near you, alternatively reflexology can help too. Look them both up :)
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