There is no one when it comes down to it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mark1548, Dec 18, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Mark1548

    Mark1548 Member

    No friends... though I like to think I have some. Either I am to good at hiding things or they just don't recognise the worst times.

    I have tried hard for many years. 36 years and I swear I have done the best I can for those around me (mostly my mother since my father died). I think I am not a bad person. I have certainly tried to be good to people.

    I feel now that it's all pointless. I cannot give myself the peaceful option because I can't do that to my mother. So even that isn't my choice.

    So I just struggle and try to make each day pass. One day I won't have to anymore. Why does it even have to be so hard when you try not to bother anyone?

    I am so sure I have never reallly done anyone any harm. I don't think I do deserve this. I have not done a bad thing since I was a child I am sure.
  2. OhneDich

    OhneDich Well-Known Member

    You do deserve some friends. I don't know what passes in people's mind, they usually don't appreciate someone who is really good. They rather be with a lot of ordinary ones...
  3. Mark1548

    Mark1548 Member

    Thankyou. I am sure I have not really hurt anyone. I mean... I do have friends. I am just questioning everything about my life tonight.

    I have been away from my job for months... but for the first time ever feel maybe even going back there will make me feel I matter to someone.

    I swear I am a good person. I am kind to people and never fail to smile at people I deal with... even trying to make people happier when I can.

    I am not sure if maybe I have screwed my own life up. I am a bit of a loner. But only really since my father died. But I have still pulled myself together when people needed me. I have tried to at least.

    I am pretty sure I am not a bad person. I don't think I deserve what I feel now.
  4. OhneDich

    OhneDich Well-Known Member

    I believe you're not a bad person :) in fact, you seem really great. Maybe you should go back to work... you'll have an occupation, and will keep contact with people. That is essencial for you to stop thinking too much about life. When we're alone most of the time, bad things come to our minds...

    If you want to talk, you can pm me :) it will be a pleasure.

  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    WE tend to be our worse critics and i am sure you are a kind and caring person.
    Work has always brought me out of depression being around people who respect you for your abilities . I hope you can go back to work and try again keeping your mind busy is always a good thing take care
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.