No friends... though I like to think I have some. Either I am to good at hiding things or they just don't recognise the worst times. I have tried hard for many years. 36 years and I swear I have done the best I can for those around me (mostly my mother since my father died). I think I am not a bad person. I have certainly tried to be good to people. I feel now that it's all pointless. I cannot give myself the peaceful option because I can't do that to my mother. So even that isn't my choice. So I just struggle and try to make each day pass. One day I won't have to anymore. Why does it even have to be so hard when you try not to bother anyone? I am so sure I have never reallly done anyone any harm. I don't think I do deserve this. I have not done a bad thing since I was a child I am sure.