i just dont see a lot of point for me living anymore i dont want to live. i always feel anxious or sad or numb and not a lot of things bring me joy. my girlfriend does, but that goes away when we stop talking. and sometimes she makes me sad too. nothing is a permanent fix. my next therapist appointment is in a week and i dont know if i can make it. i dont want to. my mom said she’d try to reschedule it but it’s holy week and my mom’s a priest and so is my dad so it makes it hard for both of them to drive me around, plus my therapist has a weird schedule. i just want to swallow a bottle of pills and sleep forever. i dont even feel like im medicated. theres nothing that can fix me. i want to get away from all this stress. i want to die.