there is no reason to carry on

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Professor_Spiff, Oct 10, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Professor_Spiff

    Professor_Spiff Active Member

    Why should I even try when I know my future is going to be so bleak? My marks are bad and I could get a job at a mcdonalds but what kind of life is that? My life is going to be so hard and depressing and horrible. There is no point anymore. Why should I carry on when everyone's against me? They always tell me no one wants me here and no one cares. It's the only thing they even say and I believe them whole heartedly because everyone who left my life told me the exact same thing, so they have to be on to something. I'm just an attention *****, that's why I'm writing this. I'm going to end it! I'm just waiting for the method to come to me, then it's going to be over. Peeople say they care but I never believe them because EVERYONE in my life has lied to me about almost anything. I hate the system and society, the fakeness of it all and the artificial happiness which seems the norm. Now that I understand what I know now I can never go back to being happy. I sedate myself all the time so I. Don't have to think because when I think it's the worst ever. I see all the things in my life when I think and see how shitty they all are. Always sedating myself, always so numb and alone....so what's the point of carrying on living? There is no point. There is no future for me here
     
  2. kote

    kote Account Closed

    i can see your point. life does suck and the system does screw you over. but hey why let it. fight it. show all those idiots you arent what they have marked you to be your so much more.
    i know the feeling of sedataing and blanking the whole world out - i did the same after my breakdown. but i kept fighting and fought each and everyday even when all around me had given up on me.
    my trick was to close doors on people - people i dont need, people who bad mouth me, people who are disrespectful and only have their own agenda on their mind. through this method and focusing really hard on what i wanted i could achieve it. it left me physically and mentally exhausted but i showed those doubters that i had the ability. now this has given me the extra confidence to move on and to set other goals. goals for me. just little things day to day!!! looking at the big picture is still hard but like a jigsaw i can now see the pieces and where they are meant to go. it may take a while but i will complete it.
    im not giving up to prove to those who boo boo'ed me they were right.
    im getting better and im going to come out the next round punching!!!
    i can see the fight in your words and the need to sedate even more so.
    you can flip things right up and draw a new path for yourself. i hope you do as each life here is unique and you are too!!!
    close doors on those which disturb you and open new ones to a fresh more fullfilling life just for you. even if its flipping burgers in McD's. they will be your burgers. sod the status of life and jobs etc etc in the end they mean nothing. i went from a very high flying career to just a house husband and not a very good one at that. i prefer the simple life as like you i cant stand how fake people are and how the system sucks all the life away from you. now im free to do as i please and enjoy many hobbies and have got into shape. im no longer a slave to the system.
    flipping burgers sounds much better than a fake career of slavery!!!
     
  3. Professor_Spiff

    Professor_Spiff Active Member

    I don't have the will to try anymore, no energy, no strength. I can't even try anymore. All the things you say have become too difficult to do
     
  4. kote

    kote Account Closed

    ok i understand what youre saying. i fought to a certain point where it exhausted me inside and out.
    thats when i felt my lowest.
    i felt i couldnt do anything and i gave up on everything. even washing or going to a shop was too much for me.
    i felt very suicidal at that point. i can understand where you are now having you explained that.
    but i had a phrase in my head "better off in bed than dead".
    i slept and i still sleep most of the time. but when i was at my lowest i slept and slept. obviously medicated. i needed as youve said to sedate myself and i did for a few years until it turned my mind to mush - mush is so much better than being as sharp as a pin!!! you can just let things go and not care.
    i feel for you as i have been there and its a dark and lonely place. but you may now need to let go and sleep it off like a bad hangover. it may take years as in my case. but get comfy and find comfort in resting from this horrid world. after a while you may find the energy to focus again.
    but i will say it again "it is better to be in bed than dead". this sickness we have ( also the despise for the system and society ) can and does go away.
    it just takes time, meds, numbness and lots of sleep and rest.
    hold your hands up and say you give up and go to bed.
    then i do promise it does get easier with time. it is time which you will have to sacrifice like any other serious illnesses it takes time. even longer in our cases as we have reached the point of no return.
    please do me a favour and try some new meds and strong ones at that.
    now im at a point im off meds and just take a vallium or 2 to chill out when i get hyped up.
    but from your reply i feel rest is the best for you. no more fighting with yourself at what or where you should be - there is plenty of time for that i assure you. ( i was/am still in bed for 6 years ) i only venture out now for my hobby or the drs. just 3hrs twice a week for my hobby has given me focus and confidence also seeing that not all people are bad and trying to put you down.
    i wish you the best and i hope you can close doors and open new ones.
    i know your pain and im at the other end of it now. the main thing which is screwed is my body clock which i have a plan in motion to fix. thats a major goal for me to wake up, stay up and do something/anything which doesnt exhaust me. a walk, a hike, housework even tidying my room are all major tasks. but little goals which i havent managed before. now after all that rest and my mind finally balancing out. i want to try these small pointless things but they are a step on the road to recovery.
    dont give up life. put it on hold and sleep the shittiness off. society and the system is a very mucky business.
    you can PM me anytime or chat and we can discuss it all at length. i know how hard it is for you and you are right!!!
    wishing you the best and hoping you contact me and we can get through all the shite of society!!!
     
  5. Hey I see in your profile thing that you feel very lonely . We can be friends ! ! ! I am actually not like most of society and I genuinely care and like to listen and help .

    I have a lot to say and really think I could have some good advice . But more importantly we can be friends and I use Instant Messengers and social networkings and things , so let me know please if you want to or it is okay and I can private message you right away with the details . I can relate to what you are going through in many ways .
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.