There is somebody that you like who doesn't want to be your friend.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by boo, Mar 5, 2010.


There is somebody that you like who doesn't want to be your friend.

  1. I never stop trying. Why wouldn't anyone want to be friends with me?

    0 vote(s)
  2. I try for awhile, but not forever. I can take a hint.

    5 vote(s)
  3. I'm never sure what to do in a situation like this.

    1 vote(s)
  4. I do try to be friendly, but if they don't like it, I can look elsewhere.

    9 vote(s)
  5. Reject me once, and I'm gone forever.

    7 vote(s)
  6. I never try to talk to anyone in the first place.

    7 vote(s)
  7. I brush them off and do the belly dance.

    0 vote(s)
  8. Stalk them.

    1 vote(s)
  9. Buy their friendship with money or material.

    0 vote(s)
  10. other please specify.

    1 vote(s)
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  1. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Social rejection occurs when an individual is deliberately excluded from a social relationship or social interaction. A person can be rejected on an individual basis or by an entire group of people. Furthermore, rejection can be either active, by bullying, teasing, or ridiculing, or passive, by ignoring a person, or giving the "silent treatment." The experience of being rejected is subjective for the recipient, and it can be perceived when it is not actually present.
    Although humans are social beings, some level of rejection is an inevitable part of life. Nevertheless, rejection can become a problem when it is prolonged or consistent, when the relationship is important, or when the individual is highly sensitive to rejection.
    The experience of rejection can lead to a number of adverse psychological consequences such as loneliness, low self-esteem, aggression, and depression.
    - From Wikipedia

    So what do you do when facing rejection?
  2. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I've faced rejection most of my life, so I've adapted and stopped caring when it happens. The way I figure it, if someone rejects me, they aren't worth knowing (unless they're a close friend, in which case I get over it).
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 5, 2010
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Rejection. Going through it right now and it hurts like Hell. I've let my friend know I'm still here and still care but ...the silent treatment. I've sent heart felt and truth filled emails and text messages. Tried calling. All ignored. That hurts more than if they told me to fuck off!!!!! Especially when my friend keeps saying they been left alone but wont reply to my offers of help and friendship. Like a slap in the face really. So I've left it in their hands. Guess I'll finally smarten up in time and realize they really dont want or need the friendship anymore. But it hurts all the same.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 5, 2010
  4. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    i don't seem to have difficulty with most of the forms of rejection you mention. i can walk away. more likely ppl mistakenly feel i've rejected them, as i have a great need for alone time... I'm aware of this so i am careful to state my needs and be reassuring.

    the rejection i do have trouble with, is when those i care so much about, decide to exit :sad: those are the ones **tears** that deeply hurt and i have no idea how to cope with.

    just the threat of that type of rejection stings and pains me

    i so wish people would not leave me like that

    it really hurts
  5. Sammakko...

    Sammakko... Guest

    I go mental psychosis, Try to kill myself, fail and find more people who make me feel totally invalid.

    Kali wrote: "...and i have no idea how to cope with."

    Neither do I.
  6. Vagrant

    Vagrant Account Closed

    1- I do try to be friendly, but if they don't like it, I can look elsewhere.
    2- Reject me once, and I'm gone forever.

  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Its one of the things I'm very vulnerable to and I just block it out. If people reject me, that's it, out of my life. I also don't put myself back in situations where I end up rejected. This is why I have no emotional attachments to anyone outside my family. It's a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge part of my problem-rejection, and so the only way to avoid it is to spend my life working on protecting myself against it. My life is very cold.
  8. Mystic

    Mystic Well-Known Member

    I have had nothing BUT rejection. Ever.

    So now I don't try. It saves on pain.

    Its not a case of want, it a case of that's how life is for me.

    I wouldn't know what to do even if I had a friend.
  9. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    it never happens to me, it seems like everybody who is coming near me would like to
    be my friend. i keep telling them to find their friends somewhere else but they start begging and giving me all kind of presents from fruitbaskets to flowers and sometimes money only to be my friend.
    3 months ago i was forced to hire somebody to keep track of all my friends. im pretty much lost as i have no clue what to do with all the presents coming from them.
    pls people ENOUGH = ENOUGH.

    this one to go with the post <----------
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 6, 2010
  10. Darc

    Darc Well-Known Member

    I'd never try again. Telling me off once is more than enough to make me kick myself internally for months afterwards for even trying to approach someone. And I wouldn't just avoid the person who rejected me, but also pretty much everyone else for a while. I just can't take stuff like that...I already feel like a total retard and scram when someone gets loud/annoyed with me...These days it never happens though, because I'm smart enough to stay away from people.
  11. phoenix44

    phoenix44 Well-Known Member

    "Reject me once, and I'm gone forever."

    That option fits me extremely well. Through the years I've come to expect rejection from everyone, and I can spot it from a mile away. So whenever a person shows any signs of rejecting me, I cut them out of my life entirely. I've just been hurt so many times in my life that it's something I simply must do.

    Oh, but about passive vs. active rejection: passive is so much worse. At least with active rejection you can put on a front to make people think it doesn't bother you. Plus, you can tell yourself that the person bullying you is just a jerk. But if a person simply ignores you, it's totally different and you don't really know what to do.
  12. Lone_Wolf

    Lone_Wolf Well-Known Member

    Reject me once, and I'm gone forever.....
    It would keep playing in my head over and over.
    I'd see how stupid I was....
    ...and never try again. :sad:
  13. Sammakko...

    Sammakko... Guest

    Oh, Auch that thread was hint for me, well, you know the slow dummies...

    OK, I try to take a hint =(
    ... and you tell it just today when I yesterday daydream of your hair streaming on my back.. I am in pain now...

    That is ... Well ... At least I can see your tooths....
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I chose '' I do try to be friendly, but if they don't like it, I can look elsewhere.''
    Although, I usually end up feeling bad, if they don't :dunno:
  15. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Hehe! Sammakko, you know i have a secret crush on you!
  16. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    let me take this oppertunity to inform you i am dedicated to eliminate each form of competition :gun: by telling you have a crush on Sammakko you will take all concequences that come with it, including being haunted down by fdm :jason:
  17. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Then i'll challenge you to a hot dog eating contest! what's the matter? chicken?
  18. Shattered Soldier

    Shattered Soldier Well-Known Member

    I usually like people on that basis that they have decided to be my friend. I think wanting to be my friend shows good judgment and special qualities. If somebody is automatically drawn to me, I consider it a compliment for them. Its not that I think very highly of my self, its just that I feel worthy of friendship. And I like to be in the company of people who make good decision. Deciding to seem me out as a friend is probably one of the vest decisions a person can make IMHO. I think very highly of people who want to take that chance and would have the guts to reach out and do that. I am slightly socially inawkward but i am a very trusting, loving, caring, and loyal friend. You have to trust in your friend's judgment and have it in your mind that they have desired with the best possible and enlightening connection that they could ever hope to achieve. By liking me, I ca tell off the nad that they enjoy the company of slightly odd and genuine people who aren't afraid to show their true face in public. That they do not always leap towards social status and acceptability. If a person doesn't like me, that is their own misconception and misjudging the character of other people. Forget them. I don't nee people around who actually think so shallow. I have also found that people who want me to be their friends are also seeking a deeply spiritual relationshp that goes beyond this world. As I sometimes with that people would just give me a chance and let me show them some other off sides of life that they may have known or suspected to be true. My hat is off to anyone who wants to be close to me. It may sound pompous, but wanting and accepting me can be the greatest compliment you can give yourself.
  19. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    Chicken? You dont know who you messing with man, im deep in the streets. I slap people for fun and eat 20 hotdogs as breakfast, thats what I do man. You wanna play rough huh. Just tell me the time and place. Funny ass shit right here. :bleh:
  20. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Time and place?! next week! At the Jerry Springer show! bring it on homie! make sure you bring an extra pair of underwear!
    Thats me and you! get ready!
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