There needs to be a separate forum for people with physical problems.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Grey68, Jun 24, 2016.

  1. Grey68

    Grey68 Active Member

    Some of us suffer from illnesses that don't respond or don't respond well to treatment. Pain and fatigue are life crushing realities for many, and make life unbearable. This is different from worries over "school", or "relationships". Goddamn, I wish I had such problems.
     
    Thauoy likes this.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I also have long term medical issues. The feelings and issues in dealings with those feelings are no different. If you read through it is probably about 30% of us that have a physical issue- in the end - regardless of untreatable ultimately terminal condition like I have, whatever medical issue you have, and girlfriend breaking up- the suicidal feelings are the same. Most of the posts of these "other problems" also have statements like they wish they had a terminal illness" or any illness that had a known cause. You can choose to read or not read , reply or not reply, but the belief that one person's problems are somehow more serious than another if both people see the only solution as killing themselves I do not believe to be correct. While all have different problems, the problem is less and issue than way we we are reacting to that problem. I can say this with some certainty compared to how I used to deal with constant pain and continual loss of physical abilities as the disease progressed and how I deal with it now. In the end the issue is not the problem that is making us suicidal- it is the way we are reacting to it - and that does not matter if it is a physical issue causing the depression and loss of interest in life, or if it is a mental issue of depression with or without any known cause or contributing factor. It is far too easy to look at somebody else's problems and scoff- but at the same time that is what pisses us off- when people look at our problems and say "it could be worse" or "people have had much worse and gone on to..."

    If the medical doctors cannot cure or give relief from the physical illness you have then nobody on any internet forum is going to be able to solve the physical part. When you realize it is the mental aspects of dealing with that illness that are making you suicidal you can however get some support that actually helps, makes things easier and may improve the quality of your life somewhat. So far a people understanding your problem- there are plenty here with physical illness as the primary basis of why they feel suicidal. If it upsets you that some people are suicidal and do not have a physical illness then do not read their posts- that is not meant as rude or a snub- with all sincerity- do not read/respond to the posts that piss you off because they seem so ridiculous or petty. I understand that feeling , and have felt it myself many times. I am sincerely saying that there is no point in doing anything that makes you angry or feel worse. There is also no point in comparing pain or causes of the pain that lead people to a place where the vast majority of the people have suicidal thoughts and urges. The cause of the pain doesn't make a suicide more or less likely - them killing themselves or attempting it because their boyfriend broke up with them doesn't make them less dead or in less pain than somebody with a debilitating illness. They might argue at least the physical illness people get some normal sympathy as opposed to derision for being "weak" .... Rather than comparing reasons for feeling suicidal, discussing ways to get more meaning for life or to adapt/accept to new realities will ultimately be more beneficial.

    We do have in the works a new forum to make it easier to find people to talk to that understand the specific situation they are in- it will be open by the end of the weekend. I hope you will try posting in that and find it helpful, and I am sorry for the situation that has brought you here- I do not believe anybody deserves anything that hurts enough mentally / physically/or both to want to die rather than deal with it anymore.
     
  3. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    I feel like a hysterical idiot. You put a lot of these problems (from my own personal life) into context. I think you would do a service to all of us to talk about real problems. It may put to rest people's hysteria and may well make you feel a little better.
     
    DrownedFishOnFire and Lucy0 like this.
  4. Thauoy

    Thauoy Well-Known Member

    We are here to support and help each other. Not to hate each other. I think many members misunderstood the original post.' Grey68' should elaborate his problems and sufferings. He is just expressing his feelings. Why everybody is just pouring their hateful comments instead of giving valuable advice ?
     
    Brittless likes this.
  5. Grey68

    Grey68 Active Member

    I did have some of the problems others here have when I was younger, problems with school, "relationships", jobs, loneliness, etc. And I was told the same thing by parents, "counselors", etc., "it gets better". Lol, it didn't get better, it never did. But there was booze, drugs, video games, movies, etc. to distract me. I could live with it. I can't live with chronic fatigue though.

    How shall I do it? Clean or nasty?
     
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Ive had too much physical issues lately the last one with ruptured appendix this month that cost me 10 days In the hospital 2.5 weeks before the appendix decided to break I had a knee surgrey due to a car accident that was a driect result of someone drinking and driving back in jan, ive been to so many doctors so talk about a series of misfortunes. My income has been slashed in half. Ive yet not started on my disability that threw up a barrier for me to access appropriate medical care.

    So just letting you know there are quite a handful of us who can relate to you in that sense.
     
  7. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    I have been on SF for quite a while. Sometimes I read a post and think what trivial problems this person has. They should just get a grip. But the reality is, whatever problem a person has, it is VERY real and troublesome to them.
     
    Aether, Rockclimbinggirl and Brian777 like this.
  8. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    I agree with the OP in that there should be a separate forum for physical problems where people don't just tell you to buck up because the reality is sometimes it won't get better but what they need is someone else to talk to with experience in coping with it. It is frustrating for me to see posts about someone being poor or having a mean mom.

    Likewise could be the same for permanent mental health issues. I have schizzoaffective disorder and will die alone with no friends or family to notice. These are issues that you don't want to be told to cheer up it'll get better because no it won't get better and you just look like an ass. I want to talk to people who have similar issues.
     
  9. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    Mental health issues do have a physical effect on some such as myself. I am diagnosed with so many types of depression & anxiety issues it confuses me. When it comes on I am useless. I only get out of bed because laying down too much gets me coughing. My chair is then my haven. The TV remote is in reach but there is no energy left to pick it up. Besides, anything on depresses me more. The radio is too far away. Maybe I'll turn it on the next time I need the bathroom. Grab a water on the way back. Until then I'll settle for being parched.
    Those that know me know if they don't hear from me by 10AM I am having one of those days. They know not to expect me.
    I may not shower for a few days.
    Fortunately I have a really great friend that will stop over to make sure I get something to eat.
    My mental health status does create physical limitations.