I’ve been fighting really hard To hold on to this person that I love. This beautiful Gentle person And it hurts To see her dying A little more each day. To watch her trying to save the world Burning through everything she’s got Till there’s nothing left to feel it with. I want to pick her up And hold her like a child And tell her it’s gonna be okay. But close Immeasurably close as I am I can’t reach her. I’m waiting for the day When she takes one step too many Drowns for the last time Swallows for the last time And feels it choke on the way down. I’m worried Because I don’t know how to save her Or make her listen To the things that love her The things she loves The people that tie her here. I wish I was clairvoyant I could read peoples minds Or see the future Or move the universe with a flick of my mind But I can’t even raise my body off this bed And I can’t separate from this weight around my neck This secondary body With its alien mind. I can’t save her Because I am her. I am lucid in this moment Divine Transcendent. And serrated from myself. My pronouns lie Like everything else. She…is beautiful. She…is worthy of everything she owns And that owns her. I am beautiful. I am worthy Of this dreadfully tiring life I am trying to live. It is not I Think Therefore I Am. For me It is and always has been I Am Therefore I Think And always will be And that is just something I am going to have to live with.