there's a flaw in my chemistry

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by disconnections, Feb 2, 2012.

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  1. disconnections

    disconnections New Member

    i don't know if i can do this anymore.

    i feel suicidal nightly.

    i am in so much pain physically and i know that will go soon but i can't even cry without it hurting so badly.

    i don't know what to do. my birthday is on sunday. i feel so alone although i have people that care about me. i have a good-paying job. i have everything i need there is just something wrong with me.

    i went to therapy three times a week for two months. he was a good therapist but i had nothing to gain from it anymore. i know why i feel bad, how i feel bad, how i can postpone it for a few moments, but not for any length of time.

    i have some benzos that are prescribed to me that i could take but i am so afraid of addiction

    i feel so bad i very slightly self injured but i am in physical pain already and didn't want to add to it. i don't know what to do. i have cns depressants and i just want to take them all and be done but i'm afraid of that too.

    i am feeling

    quite terrible.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sorry you are feeling so down hun i do hope coming here and reaching out helps some. Talk to your doc if you can and see if you can up your antidepressants or change them to ones that work differently Keep posting okay hun it will show you are not alone and you will see people care hugs
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...glad you found us...if you feel comfortable, please tell us what has gotten you to this place..also please consult your pdoc/doc and let them know that this course of action is not effective...welcome again
  4. disconnections

    disconnections New Member

    i'm not on anti depressants and i he doesn't want me on them because i don't have the money to come in and get evaluated often enough. i'm feeling bad again tonight, all night last night, all day today.

    i keep thinking about self injuring but i threw away all of my si equipment and now all i have are kitchen knives. i have medication and i'm considering downing them and hoping i end up dead.
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