I have a big identity crisis. I don't know who I am anymore. The things I liked up to last week just seems boring as hell and everything else looks like that too. I just feel like it's pointless to go on living when you have no one you can really talk to, because they think you are worthless... Also, when I look at life in retrospect, it just feel like we are all doing it for naught, that whatever we do, we still end up dead. So why not die right now ? I am just helpless. When I try to help others, it just goes back right into my face with something like : You don't know anything, fuck off. Recently, I keep having panic attacks really often. It's to the point where my body shakes by itself and I cannot breathe, because my anxiety is too fucking high. I really don't know what keeps me living. Maybe I just don't have the guts to kill myself, and that makes me alot more depressed, because to the end, I will not even have a single ounce of courage. The only few people who were my friends turned around because I kept a secret from them. I just don't know what to do anymore... My head feels heavy and hazy. I just want to end it.