theres no use anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by painfulbliss, Nov 24, 2006.

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  1. painfulbliss

    painfulbliss Well-Known Member

    help me I don’t know what to do anymore there is to much going on in my life to handle. The list is to long.

    1. I have feelings for a friend but with my depression and suicidal urges I don’t think it would work out.
    2. I’ve started cutting again.
    3. my mother is being bitch and i really wish she had considered abortion rather than birth like she had planned and I cant deal with her.
    4. im trying to my best in school.
    5. no one im family knows im suicidal so I constantly have to keep lying to them cause they think im perfectly fine and I don’t want to how I really feel cause it will just upset them also everyone in my family is pushing me away and they dont give a fuck bout me anymore. no ever cares bout me. i dont even know why im fighting my depression and suicide any longer i should just end it all like everyone says im just a stress factor and a burden to everyone else and im bring everyone around me down
    6. im always depressed and I keep thinking of ways to kill myself.
    7. i got kicked out of jobcorps and i really need to go back but have to see a shrink and the only thing that will even remotely help is me going back to jobcorps cause it is the only place that has even helped me calm down besides here
    8. I have to hide my scars from teachers, friends, and family.
    9. I need to go see a doctor to get meds for my depression but I don’t know if have enough money and that also would include my mother knowing im depressed an suicidal again cause last time she told me I should just kill myself and get it over with and that no one cares if I die cause the world would be better off without me.

    of course it wont matter soon if i can go through with my plan this time. but hey i give up on life, cuase life never did anything for me but make it a living nightmare and give me a handlfull of good friends and i cant even help them through there hard times. And I don’t know if I can handle all this at one time. And I afraid im going to do something that I cant come back from or fix. Help please.
    Thanx for hearing me out even if you don’t respond to this.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Silenttears, please don't give up. Is there anyone you can turn to for support? You know we are here for you any time you need someone. I don't believe for a minute that the world would be a better place without you. I am sorry your family feels you are a burden or a stress factor to them. I agree that sometimes it makes things more difficult to understand, but that does not make it a burden. You are a wonderful, caring person. Please continue to seek help and fight the best way you can. We need people like you in this world. :hug:
  3. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    Hi I'm Lara .i can understand you, i´m in a similar situation, my family doesn´t know about anything, my friends, my teachers and my boss no one knows about it, i just want to tell you something that i read in this forum and is that if you doubt about it a little little litlle bit like a grain of sand please don´t do anything because you can regret it.
    i think about suicide every single night sice 4 years ago. may be i´m not the best person to tell you anything, but i need to make you know that the dark seems darker with the eyes closed, that´s why i´m here, i still think about it but when i read what people say at this forum somethimes i feel much better, sometimes, i cut myself no matter what i read. i´ve been so close to death and fate saved me, like i thought i heard a door getting open, and things like that, and then i knew it was myself trying to stay alive, giving myself another chance. And no matter how many times things goes wrong, only matter that you did something that most people can´t. and is to win to death. so i will be here suporting you while you win to death the times you need.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think you are very wise to know you need there someone other than your parents, like an aunt or family friend that you can tell and have some advise how to best approach your parents??? if not, then take a deep breath, say what you have to say, and get the help you need...please worry more about yourself than what others will say...hope this was helpful and please PM me if i can assist in any way...big hugs, Jackie
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