There's nothing salvageable in this selfish world

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chameleo, Aug 8, 2012.

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  1. Chameleo

    Chameleo Member

    I really wish I'd just cease to exist anymore. There's nothing I find desirable about living in this world. I'm very much alone and have been a sad, passive observer in life more than anything. It's not just my overwhelming loneliness driving me to justify ending my life but the nihilistic and brutish nature of reality. I've witnessed everything from corruption first-hand to someone losing their life and I realized that it's all like a sick joke and there's not even a funny punchline. I'm disappointed enough in what "life" has to offer that I'd rather find the fortitude and deposition to just end my life. There's so little positive, that they can merely be prescribed as brief vagaries of perception. Everything from undying love to true friendship all sound like fruitless concepts. I don't have the motivation anymore to even so much as get out of bed and shuffle my feet into work, another baseless day living in a repetitive existence that's cruel and less than endearing. I hope I can finally bring myself to break from the spell of a heartless world soon.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I do know what it feel like when viewing the world from this lens...when I am very depressed, it seems like I am a lightening rod for all of it...but when I feel OK, love and friendship do not feel that way...have you spoken to anyone about the way you feel? I know it is hard to access right now, but you do deserve to feel better, and break the spell by getting the services you also deserve
  3. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Man, I know the feeling. Very well said, by the way.

    Why am I still here? I don't know. Maybe I hang around just out of spite. I could easily see myself becoming one of those people whose sole purpose in life is to make other people miserable. Why? Because I'm miserable, so you should be too. Just because I'd love to wipe the stupid grins off of their stupid faces.

    Nah... sorry, that's just me venting. In reality, I'd like to be happy some day. Pipe dream, you say? Of course it is. Farfetched? Absolutely. Delusional? Fucking A right it is. But see, that's how bad life is. That it's almost better to be delusional. If you've noticed, most of the happy people in the world are delusional idiots. Oh how I envy them. Maybe if I hit myself in the head in just the right spot, I too can be a delusional idiot some day. Just have to figure out which part of the brain is responsible for knowing the difference between fantasy and reality... smack that part of my skull nice and hard with a ball peen hammer, and I'll be good to go.
  4. champie

    champie Well-Known Member

    Chameleo, perhaps we feel the same way. Here's what I've been thinking lately:

    It seems to me that EVERYBODY comes into this universe cold and alone and then leaves this universe cold and alone. It also seems to me that while we are alive we are ALL trapped in a self-constructed belief system because we can never really know anything outside of our limited perception mechanisms.

    Here's where I have a problem: I will die if I can't figure out a way to eat and shelter myself from immediate life-threatening elements, but I am no longer compelled by "the gift of life" to seek and procure these necessary things.

    Anyone have any thoughts on this?
  5. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member

    Nothing postive to ad, if you want to truely live , you have to put yourself first .

    Some of us just have a problem with that , am selfless , nothing I do is ever for me.
    Even If I do things for me , then I happily share that with others .

    So end deal , what we share we shall recieve , what we give we shall reap .
    Sadly that is not how it works does it ?

    I don't know , maybe lets just be all make others miserable , atleast then you are living the world at this current moment .
    The days in helping others and others helping you , are long past .
    It is more what can I get from others ? .

    What if people like us don't want anything from others , instead of being appreciated .
    All you get thanks for the fish sucker , see you .
    And the last part is so true , they always come back when they have issues .
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