I really wish I'd just cease to exist anymore. There's nothing I find desirable about living in this world. I'm very much alone and have been a sad, passive observer in life more than anything. It's not just my overwhelming loneliness driving me to justify ending my life but the nihilistic and brutish nature of reality. I've witnessed everything from corruption first-hand to someone losing their life and I realized that it's all like a sick joke and there's not even a funny punchline. I'm disappointed enough in what "life" has to offer that I'd rather find the fortitude and deposition to just end my life. There's so little positive, that they can merely be prescribed as brief vagaries of perception. Everything from undying love to true friendship all sound like fruitless concepts. I don't have the motivation anymore to even so much as get out of bed and shuffle my feet into work, another baseless day living in a repetitive existence that's cruel and less than endearing. I hope I can finally bring myself to break from the spell of a heartless world soon.