...and today, for the first time in a long time, I felt that very emotion. To be scared. How simple it sounds. But really it isn't. It knocks everything out of order. Everything you've ever built up for, worked up to. Jeopardises every little thing. One ounce of fear outweighs a tonne of courage. And that's what keeps many of us here. Fighting the same shit, on a different day. Because we need that ounce of fear to be gone before we make the final call. [If you're not following so far, then I apologise, but you most likely won't if you carry on reading.] Courage can be a farce, but fear always remains true. You cannot fake fear. You can build up courage easier than you can rid that feeling of being scared out of your mind, even if only for a few moments. It makes everything seem totally ridiculous. I've blocked out fear for a long, long time. Fear cannot control me, because fear will always win. So I've not so much fought it, but ignored it. Now it wants its turn. I've nothing left but this one feeling. And it's really fucking bugging me. Because I don't need it. It will pass, but I'm not a patient person. I don't like waiting. Pardon me for this brain vomit but I'm having a fleeting moment. By all means ignore it all. I wouldn't mind in the slightest. I just needed it out.