Theres something terribly wrong with me.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mlxjaded, Jul 20, 2010.

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  1. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    Everyone around me tries to make me happy yet I'm always upset and have attitudes with them.

    I don't know why I treat the ones I love with so much hate.
    Everyone thinks I am a good person but I am not.
    I am a horrible person and I'm sick.
    Tomorrow, July 21, is my birthday.
    Heh, how funny would it be to die on your birthday.
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Maybe you could go to therapy? I mean you realize something isnt right and i guess that would be the first step. You realize what you are doing and now you just need to work on changing it to make yourself better. (hope that made sense). :laugh:
    Please dont kill yourself. Things can get better. And i know i dont know you but you dont seem like a horrible person to me. You seem like someone who is in pain and needs a hand and thats ok :) :hug: Pm me if you need someone to talk to.

    Happy almost :bday:
  3. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    I've been to therapy before.
    Been with 3 different therapist and 1 psychiatrist.
    Now, though, I don't see anyone regularly and I don't want to.

    I don't need help. I just need to not be here.
    I am such a burden to those who care for me.
    You have no idea.

    I feel if I died, a huge weight would be lifted off my family's shoulders.
  4. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Thats not true. Your family would be crushed. Even if at times you get angry at them family will always love you. So if you were to die it would crush them. Especially if you killed yourself. They would probably feel guilty for not seeing the signs in time to stop you. You would be giving your family a whole new set of problems :(... i know you dont want that. So please stay and do not hurt yourself. :hug:
  5. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    I just don't want to be here anymore :(
  6. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :console: Think for a second, dont you just want the pain and confusion to stop?? You dont have to die for that to happen. And i know you dont want to hurt them so if you cant live for yourself live for them :hug:
  7. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    Yeah, but think how they'd feel if you were gone.

    There's probably a reason they care for you.
  8. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    Made it through the night and it is now officially my 17th birthday.
    I actually feel pretty good. :blink:

    I've been worried about my weight a lot recently. (I did a whole other thread on that if you wanna see..)
    And that has been getting worse but not to the point of suicide.
    I feel okay right now.

    Thank you all for everything!
  9. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    Happy birthday mate :)
  10. Azmodius

    Azmodius Well-Known Member

    Happy birthday, glad you're still with us!
  11. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Happy Birthday, hun!
  12. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Wow thats great! What friends we have here!!!!
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