There's two sides

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by PandorasToybox, Feb 25, 2011.

  1. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I dont want to come off sounding cold-hearted or disrespectful, so please excuse me if I do, it's not intentional.

    First I am a survivor of a suicide attempt. I spent time in a psych ward & I am still living the nightmare. Like many others, I have family that does not even want to bring it up & offers no support, I have people around me who look down on me & I am alone in this.

    I'm all for suicide prevention. I am all for those who have survived losing loved ones receiving support (I lost my cousin last sept).

    A local man who lost a family member to suicide started up this massive project in an attempt to raise awareness about suicide & bring together those that have lost loved ones. The project is wonderful. I totally support it.

    However... they do raise a lot of encouragement towards reaching out for help for those that have a mental illness or are suicidal. That's good but at the same time I feel like they dont really, truly realize why people dont ask for help, especially those that have already been through treatment. For myself treatment was was abusive & I will never be able to forget.

    Again the project is great but Im angry at the fact they think that treatment is a great thing to seek & that you will get better...especially locally the psychward is an abusive mess & the programs are very hard to get into.

    Part of me wants to write him & let him know that they make it sound easy when really they have no idea. Opening up about suicide is great but our mental health system is dangerous at times. Again like many others I live with after effects and in fear of going thru that hell-ridden experience again I keep my mouth shut.

    I feel bad for those left behind but I also understand why a lot of us stay hidden. I understand why it's scary to seek out help & how hard it is to stay above water when you have limited or no support. Am I against others getting help? No. If you can find good help take it. If you others will support you take it. But I HATE when people who push us to get help dont understand what can happen.

    Sometimes it makes it worse.

    How about listening & helping us before it gets to that point.
  2. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Maybe a letter or maybe even you speaking for the orgaization could help, you can never understand suicide or treatment if you havent been through it before. Yes I one of the ones who push to get help, because I believe if it gets you past that moment of self destruction than youve won and not the disease. Now I been through treatment but it hasnt been like alot of others here have described, Im sorry that yours wasnt a pleasant one (if it could ever be) but know that your still alive, your still fighting and without that intervention you might not have made it through.
  3. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    This is just an add-on:

    Being on the side as a survivor of an attempt is whole different ball-game in my opinion. There's been a line drawn between those left behind & survivors of an attempt. I cant understand how a survivor truly feels if they've lost someone close to them & unless they've made an attempt they cant understand what it's like for me (this is all figuratively...although I wasnt extremely close to my cousin her death did hit home pretty hard).

    To some degree ya we can understand some of the pain. But I think the stigma of having a MI or surviving a suicide attempt is so strong, you dont know it till you're there. And yes I do know that those left also have to face the stigma as well, I recorgnize that.

    I'm not saying that every person involved doesnt understand both sides, but there's a vast majority that dont. There's a blind-eye to the truth a lot of the time, even when it's not on purpose.
  4. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I forgot to add, Im sorry about your cousin. My thoughts are with you and your family.
  5. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member


    I'm guilty as well, because there is affective treatment out there. I think my biggest pet-peeve is realizing what happens after "failed" treatment. There's limited support for a lot of people.

    We have no advocacy (sp?) programs or anything here. Once you're in there you better have a lawyer to help you or you better start praying for a guaradian angel.
  6. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member


    Thank you, she was an amazing girl & thankfully did have some people fighting for her.
  7. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im sorry you feel that way, I understand about the failed attempts in life, but does that mean you give up and stop trying. I cant see I have decided to get married and have children, so bringing children and having my family means that I dont have the option to leave, I refuse to do this or make the ones around me feel this way.

    So to tell the truth most days I live for them but am learning to live for me again.

    Hope you have a good weekend. Hope to talk more later.
  8. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Definitely havent given up...not really suicidal, but probably still at the point where it would be good to have a shoulder to lean on.

    It's just hard when they point out how horrible it is to be left behind (which it most certainly IS) but sometimes they do it in a guilty fashion... Like yeah, cuz I chose to be suicidal to begin with...ummm NO. And how easy it is to find help...again, NO... even just asking is the hardest thing... took my years to ask.

    They just dont see it or show it from the other perspective...
  9. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I agree, it is hard to ask for help and to tell the truth most wont understand, but keep asking maybe someone will say something or do something that will open your eyes and mind to new ideas.