These are so bad they're actually good

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Spikey, May 14, 2007.

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  1. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
    The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

    2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll
    serve you, but don't start anything."

    3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

    4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm
    and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

    6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
    "Does this taste funny to you?"

    7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
    "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?"
    Well, "It's Not Unusual."

    8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy
    says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
    "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims
    Daisy.

    9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
    The kids were nothing to look at either.

    10. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
    but I couldn't find any.

    12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
    He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
    The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

    13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

    14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other
    and says "Dam!"

    16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
    the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
    have your kayak and heat it too.

    17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
    standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
    After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked
    them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off.
    "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open
    foyer."

    18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them
    goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a
    family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Year's later; Juan sends a
    picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture,
    she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her
    husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

    19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
    Which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
    very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
    suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's
    good)...
    A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns
    to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would
    make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
     
  2. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    :rofl: :unsure:
     
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Thank God for you!!!! Was as miserable as sin..read this and actually laughed out loud:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
  4. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    They ARE actually good :laugh: I've heard a few before though...
     
  5. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Haha lame humour rocks my socks! LOVE IT!
     
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! :biggrin: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


    Where did you find them? Their awesome!!!
     
  7. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Oh my god :biggrin:

    :rofl:

    :rofl:

    You just saved my evening :laugh:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!! :laugh:
     
  8. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    Fantastic
     
  9. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    :smile: i've seen this before lol
     
  10. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    good shiznit. i liked 'em.
     
  11. Syd

    Syd Guest

    Biology teacher: Beth, how many Xs between you and John?

    Beth: Umm… I have two ex’s… three if you count John, but it’s kind of complicated.

    Biology teacher: Yes, but John has something you don’t have. Draw it on the board.

    Beth: Umm… I don’t think that’s too wise.

    Biology teacher: Good, how many do you think he has?

    Beth: Err… one, last time I checked.

    Biology teacher: Correct!
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2007
  12. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    :laugh: ha ha ha.. oh i can't wait to say these at work tomorrow ;) :D

    Thanks for sharing

    Oh and where do policemen live??
    999 Lets Be Avenue :rolleyes:

    (guess you have to be from the UK for that joke!)
     
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