These Shadows

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by tellmewhy, Dec 31, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. tellmewhy

    tellmewhy New Member

    Here I am on the cusp of another year, my 38th to be exact. I am at a point where I believe that my existence on this planet serves no purpose. I rarely sleep anymore; two to three hours tops and usually with bad dreams.

    I keep the charade up for work then come home, exercise to the point of exhaustion, and then drink until I can pass out. That is my routine. I live for the weekends or a day off when I can stay in bed all day and shut out the rest of the world. I have isolated myself so much over the past years that I can barely function in a public setting.

    I have considered suicide for a long time. I'm not afraid of death but I'm such a private person that I want to make sure no one finds my body after I'm gone. I have inflicted self harm in the past including cutting, self-bludgeoning and self-flagellation in order to take my mind off what is happening inside me.

    Frankly, I don't have a lot of faith in a website (or anything else) but I did want to evaluate this and see if there was a genuine community out there of people like me and what, if anything, could be done as improvement.

    Thank you for reading.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi tellmewhy everyone has a purpose everyone and you may not see it right now or believe but you do. Y ou are still very young still much time for you to reach out to professionals and get the help you need either thru meds therapy or other means there is always away to reach out. I am glad you are here talking that shows me you do care you do want to keep fighting This community has kept me safe for a long time so i hope it does same for you
  3. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Hello to you. Yes, I have also had much experience with self harm. There is a forum section here devoted specifically to it, filled with people you can talk to who understand, have been there themselves, and can help.

    I hope that SF can provide some support for you. Please be safe. And welcome. :)
  4. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I thought exactly what you thought when I first came to this website. I know that there are a lot of websites out there that claim to be a support forum when really all they do is harm. Joining this website has been the best thing for me because I no longer lock everything up until I explode and take it out on myself. The community is amazing when it comes to a crisis in particular. It's also very well monitored so that harmful / hateful comments will get deleted and a lot of the time so does the user. I hope you find the support you're looking for, my ask box is always open to you, I have an immense history to self harm and I have a lot of good coping methods that you can use instead of harmful methods.

    Again, I really hope you find the support that you are looking for.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.