They are closing in

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by bipolarbiped, Jun 12, 2007.

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  1. bipolarbiped

    bipolarbiped Active Member

    I will not be able to outrun them for too much longer. The cops are always watching me and my Doctor and husband are feeding them false information. They want me to get locked up for good even though I have done nothing wrong. Except of course feeling depressed some of the time. I can see their shadows along the wall but they never show themselves. I don't know how they get in the house but they do. They are putting thoughts in my head that are not my own. Just wanting to make me think that I am crazy so they can be justified in locking me up.
    I have stopped eating and drinking anything that is not sealed and I quit taking the supposed medications that were prescribed to me... I think this is how they are getting to me. i hear them whispering to each other while they are here but like I said I never get a chance to lookk at them. So I can't prove who it is.
    Does anybody have any suggestions? You folks are the only ones I can trust at the moment. Please help.
     
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey hun, why would your husband want to lock you away? Surely he (and your doctor) want the best for you. The medication will help you, if you take the medication then you will feel safer. Take care of yourself, we're here for you if you want to talk. :hug:
     
  3. ybt

    ybt Guest

    i wouldn't recommend medications so readily, because it's not always/usually the best thing to do...
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Don't rule meds out either. true they do not work for everyone, but for many they do. It is worth a try if that seems to be the best option available. I am thinking along the same lines as resistance. I don't think your husband and doctor are truly out to get you. It may seem that way if they are wanting you to go to the hospital and you are resistant to that. I hope you are able to get this worked out. Take care. :hug:
     
  5. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Hey there. I agree with Gentle. Try taking your meds for awhile. Logically, your hubby/the cops/the doctors would not want to lock you up. They really DO want to help you, because you can't always go it alone. I know you feel like people are out to get you, but your husband loves you and the docs and police are professionals who will spend a good deal of time in jail if they try to hurt you at all. Please try to do what they ask you, and I really think you will be happier. I know someone who didn't take her meds and it was absolutely not the right choice. Please try your best to trust these people, and take care.
     
  6. bipolarbiped

    bipolarbiped Active Member

    They like to see me get locked up for their amusement. Why does anybody do mean and hateful things to others? I don't want to be afraid anymore. As for the 'meds' they are the reason that they start to get control in the first place. I can't let them do that again. Its hard to explain, but they definitely want me under their control to what end I don't kknow. It is hard to accept that the person that I thought i could trust turns out to be working with them.
    It feels like head will explode, I should go and get duct tape and wrap my head to keep it together. I can't get all the noise to stop. It gets worse every day. I lock myself in my bedroom most days (thank goodness for laptops and wireless networks) but now they are screwing around with my network. I guess they don't want me communicating with anybody about what is happening. I think I am running out of options at the moment. I will have to go someplace else to live in order to get away. It is summer now, I can always go and camp someplace. To be alone
     
  7. Essie

    Essie Guest

    bipolar,

    I think I know how you're feeling - that the people who should be protecting you are instead betraying you. Your mind is going a hundred miles an hour making connections and correlations between their words and actions and your theory as to their conspiracy for your demise. You are horrified because you once loved and/or trusted these people and now you think you realize that they have been plotting against you all along.

    Those are the thoughts I had when I went through an isolated but extended paranoid schizophrenic episode during which I believed that family and friends who had always loved and cared for me were plotting my demise. I thought they had planted bugs and cameras throughout my house and were watching my every move and were planning to eventually put me away for life. I even believed my children, ages 5 and 7, were participating in this conspiracy, if you can believe that.

    In that frame of mind, I thought I was the only person I could trust, and I refused to take my medication because I believed it was all a part of their plan. But as I came out of the episode and slowly began to realize that no one was out to hurt me, I also realized that I had unfortunately made decisions and taken actions from a very distorted perspective. Some of those decisions and actions have had long term, negative consequences in my life, and it has been terrifying to realize how very mistaken I was.

    I tell you this with hope that you might let these people help you and perhaps take the medication you need to come out of this. When I snapped out of my episode, the realization that my mind could so deceive me ended up being far more horrifying than any of the paranoid thoughts I had when I was in it.

    If you have been with your husband for some time and it seems he has always loved and supported you except in these recent days when you feel he has been plotting against you, I beg you to consider that he probably does love you very much and wants you to get better, and that it is your mind, and not your husband, that is deceiving you right now.

    I know how scary these feelings are and will pray for you to recover from them.
     
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