they back

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lost_child, Apr 24, 2008.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    suicidal thoughts are back been trying to fight them away ignore them but all i keep thinking about is hanging myself, taking an overdose, cutting deep. i can't get the thoughts out of my head. please can someone help? i understand if not, after all i'm no one in the world and wouldn't be missed, in fact it would be a blessing in disguise if i was dead.
     
  2. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    What brought about these suicidal urges? Was it something specific or did it come from out of the blue? Are you generally depressed for a certain period of time, or does your mood change entirely unpredictably? Are you on medication that has helped in the past, or is it possible that you need to switch? Please be specific. This episode you're in won't last forever, and I'm sure there are ways to make it end soon, but please answer my questions, and hopefully I can help.
     
  3. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    They just came on. I'm trying to buy a house but things keep going wrong, then i found a lump in my breast and have to go for a scan. I am on anti-depressants and have been for over a year now, I don't know if they need changing. I just feel so down, I feel that everything is going wrong. I've always felt that I wouldn't make it past my 30th which is next year, and those feelings are getting stronger. I'm meant to go be going counselling this morning and I don't know if I can, I just want to hide away.
     
  4. no point

    no point Well-Known Member

    Did you go to counceling? I hope you did. You need to tell your psych that you're feeling more depressed. Maybe your meds need changing. They can put you on stronger ones. You might be more depressed because you're thinking of buying a new house nowadays which probably adds some stress to your life. If you want to talk, please PM me.
     
  5. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Your health and your house are stressful situations. Give yourself a break. A lot of people would have suicidal feelings over what you're going through. It's cliche by now, but take things one step at a time. These days I take life one hour at a time, everything is so messed up.
     
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sorry to hear that the suicidal thoughts have come back lost child. I hope that the lump on your breast is not cancerous. I hope that things get better for you. :hug:
     
  7. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I didn't go to counselling, I got drunk, I got wasted, cause that's the type of freak that I am.

    I admit it. I'm a freak, a low life.

    I do things to make myself ill.

    I cut to see pain.

    I starve myself to see how many days I can go.

    I take drugs to feel away from this world.

    I'm not normal. I am a freak. I have no friends. I am a low life. I am a complete waste of space taking up breathing space in this sick, dangerous world.
     
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    The situations you find yourself in right now are very stressful and can lead to an increase in depressive feelings which can bring about these urges and feelings. You talk about not being normal, but I see many of the things you explain as not being normal being a reaction to your stressors. Who is to say just what normalcy is? We each react to things in our own ways. For you, this may be normal. So be it. I hope you will seek outside help in the form of some type of counseling. Even if it is to get your feelings out in the open and discuss them with someone. You will remain in my thoughts as you fight this curent battle. Please take care and do what you need to in order to remain safe. :hug:
     
  9. pastelmoon

    pastelmoon Active Member

    Why do you feel this way? I'm sure you would be missed whether you notice it or not. Try to talk to me or someone on here. I'm sure it would help.
     
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