They Called The Police On Me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Aug 5, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I've just had the police round. Crisis team called them on me. Thankfully no one was in.

    I have to see, well I agreed but I wont be here to see crisis tomorrow. I am bringing the plans forward a little. It's only a couple but I have everything I need now. Took quite a bit of organisation. I am not seeing Crisis team.

    I have written more on my blog about the treatment of the police also.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    One thing we have in common is a creative mind, and like you, sometimes, it is not in the service of my well there any way to get care without all of this? Can you call your therapist and see if he is available? Sounds like you are being kept in a constant state of fear and capture, which is not adding to any sense of control and order...please see if there is someone you can open up to, as you have with Sam...what do you have to lose?
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi GoldenPsych,


    my thoughts after reading a few blog posts of yours and what you just wrote and keeping in mind the last time I posted in one of your threads:

    I know what it's like to have the police around.... I have had good and bad experiences... although I'm happy to hear that they showed that they cared for you and treated you professionally... I understand why you might not like being sectioned... They are worried for you though (as are we).. for your well-being. Sending more :hug: :hug: your way in this trying time.

    Take care,

  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Well look on the bright side GS

    You always do get someone cute who turns up. :smile:

    One day - it won't be an official.

    And, sadly, for me, not me. I'm a lot of things but - cute, alas not.

    Love will tun up - and I'd take that over EVERY last med in the world - a dozen TOP psychiatrists, therapists, counsellors, and all the rest of the ranks of paid experts, who 'care' for us - but really -

    They call us clients - so do prostitutes.

    My neighbour is a lady of the night. I just spoke to her as we took the lift up - and I talk to everyone. Some scumbag gang of kids - had just given her vile verbal abuse - horrible stuff. So she was upset and I told her how I nearly had the **** beaten out of me by the same gang of kids from homes in which books are laughed at.

    She hates men. She told me I was 'one the nicest she knows' -:cazza: and thinking about it - she was right. Every man she knows is a client and a lowlife.

    She has her cousins who live above me. He is schizophrenic - his brother, likes the booze. But its company who accept her. I pop up sometimes for a cup of tea - sober amidst the scene you will have witnessed in a few homes no doubt GS.

    She does not have an easy life - kids taken into care - usual story - some guy, turned out bad - beat her up and broke her cheek, nose, ribs and so on. Her mind also. She took it for the kids. He would have went for the kids - evil ****.

    Well - I was feeling sorry for me - but I thought of her and a lot of people here and - I know it does not always work like that - but I feel like my problems ought to shared and we should all gang up on the government. People in the UK ought to be ashamed at what is going on here. We treat people like dirt and I'm not having it. It makes me mad. That is better than apathy and the horrible descent into suicide plans.

    You got that radical side to you GS? You must have - you cannot see the system like you have without being angry at its shortcomings! But I focus my anger - like the sunlight through magnifying glass. Like you I LOVE writing - and wish dearly to write something, anything that makes people feel like they are someone!

    Also - the world. This country. It wants us to sit indoors - alone - watching TV and not to talk to each other - to be friends and to help each other survive. We are being divided - and I know why and I want to fight till my last breath against the evils in the world - the people and the systems that deny us human dignity.

    And - our greatest enemy looks back at us from the mirror. Do you know there are some parts of the human mind which will destroy you if you spend too much time there?

    There's a point we cannot be a friend to ourselves. Only others can do that for us.

    Please read this - see if it connects..........

    I am come of the seed of the people, the people that sorrow,
    That have no treasure but hope,
    No riches laid up but a memory
    Of an Ancient glory.
    My mother bore me in bondage, in bondage my mother was born,
    I am of the blood of serfs;

    The children with whom I have played, the men and women with whom I have eaten,
    Have had masters over them, have been under the lash of masters,
    And, though gentle, have served churls;
    The hands that have touched mine, the dear hands whose touch is familiar to me,
    Have worn shameful manacles, have been bitten at the wrist by manacles,
    Have grown hard with the manacles and the task-work of strangers,
    I am flesh of the flesh of these lowly, I am bone of their bone,

    I that have never submitted;
    I that have a soul greater than the souls of my people's masters,
    I that have vision and prophecy and the gift of fiery speech,
    I that have spoken with God on the top of His holy hill.

    And because I am of the people, I understand the people,
    I am sorrowful with their sorrow, I am hungry with their desire:
    My heart has been heavy with the grief of mothers,
    My eyes have been wet with the tears of children,
    I have yearned with old wistful men,
    And laughed or cursed with young men;
    Their shame is my shame, and I have reddened for it,

    Reddened for that they have served, they who should be free,
    Reddened for that they have gone in want, while others have been full,
    Reddened for that they have walked in fear of lawyers and of their jailors
    With their writs of summons and their handcuffs,
    Men mean and cruel!
    I could have borne stripes on my body rather than this shame of my people.

    And now I speak, being full of vision;
    I speak to my people, and I speak in my people's name to the masters of my people.
    I say to my people that they are holy, that they are august, despite their chains,
    That they are greater than those that hold them, and stronger and purer,
    That they have but need of courage, and to call on the name of their God,
    God the unforgetting, the dear God that loves the peoples
    For whom He died naked, suffering shame.
    And I say to my people's masters: Beware,
    Beware of the thing that is coming, beware of the risen people,
    Who shall take what ye would not give.
    Did ye think to conquer the people,
    Or that Law is stronger than life and than men's desire to be free?
    We will try it out with you, ye that have harried and held,
    Ye that have bullied and bribed, tyrants, hypocrites, liars!

    Poem: The Rebel: Author: Pádraic H. Pearse

    Good luck to all of you.

    NEVER submit.
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi GP...thinking of you and wondering how you are...big hugs
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Same here J. Really worried about her.
  7. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    One more thing GS


    You got it.

    The things you have written so far - you keep getting better at it - and you are very persuasive.

    You almost convince me in some ways to formulate a plan.

    Its too late for you to say "no - this is just me - my choice'.

    Suicide is like a ripple in a pond - there will be effects no matter how much you have tried to isolate yourself - from people who care.

    You do know this.

    I was reading one of the members here - a young girl whose brother committed suicide. Now she has had ECT - allergic to meds and is alone.

    Maybe you could befriend her?

    After all it is actually bizarre that so many people here with the same problems don't support each other more.

    Self help via others - others who care and know what this feels like.

    Together, we might live.

    Alone - with this? Its a hellhound on your trail. It will catch up.
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