I hung on all week, because I promised Sue I would. I promised her, and I didn't mean it at the time. I knew I had to kill myself before today. And I didn't, you guys talked me down from the ceiling. Well I'm more on the ceiling than ever before.
I have a lot of other new shit going on. Fucking hate people.
But I went to my appointment this morning. I went. I didn't even want to be out, and I had to go on my own. I was terrified, of everything. Fucking roadworks nearly made me cry. And I was in a hurry running really late and I so didn't want to be late for Sue, and I left in a fucking vest top. IT wasn't cold but all these men were looking at me. I fucking hate myself. I'm not losing my curves quickly enough by not eating. The weight goes but then it goes right back on, and my tits aren't any fucking smaller. So I've changed my method, I'm going to eat and eat until I'm so fat no-one looks at me like that. I started this afternoon.
They weren't there. THEY WEREN'T THERE!! No Sue, no Dr B. No anyone who is supposed to care and is supposed to be worried and is supposed to be helping me. The meeting has been postponed until next week. They didn't even care enough to let me know they'd cancelled on me! I hate them. I hate myself for being so upset about this. It took so much to even get this far.
Now I'm crying too much to see the sodding screen so I'm gonna have to go.