My parents. the only one's I've got. I'm pushing them away because of my depression and they don't understand. they don't fucking understand and it hurts me so deeply. My dad knows that I am depressed, but he thinks it's a copout for my bad grades, lack of motivation... I can't function, do schoolwork. I really want an end to this. but I know I won't do it. not now at least. I'll just keep trying to hold on, to ultimately fail in the end. To disappoint my parents. to feel so awful every day. One day I might have the guts to do it. I hope I will. I wish there was another way. like the sticky says I just want the pain to stop. I drank some cough syrup to get away, and it worked. I felt so wonderful, not high just.... normal. like I used to feel. I'm gettting old and I need something to rely on. I feel so sad. I guess before I go out, I'm gonna let everyone know how I feel, all the ****s that have bullied me. tomorrow, I'll show them.