So.. usually, if you don't want something you don't get it right? And if you suddenly.. got something out of surprise and don't want it you usually throw it away, right? Well.. if so, then I question the logic of "my parents" when "mum" was pregnant with me. They never wanted me and probably regret that they didn't abort me. Hell, when I was a baby they tried to abandon me but for whatever reason they came back.. probably so they don't hurt the family image. I don't know. If they at least would've treated me like an invisible child.. someone they never cared about. Well they did when I was quiet in my room. But then there were 2 reasons why I got visible somehow: My father got drunk (which happened quiet often) or I dressed like a girl. Hell, already as a child I was more interested in female clothes instead of male clothes. But yeah, my parents showed 0 tolerance and well.. I got beat up as always. It was either me or my brother who got violated. Sometimes even my mum. I am actually the only one who ever fought back against this fat piece of shit calling himself "my father". I mean I was only 6 or 7 years old and he was a lot stronger but hell I kicked him in the balls and he was laying on the floor. That time I still felt sorry for him. But that pity has faded. As much as my nice personality has. I used to be nice to everyone and just wanted the world to be a better place. But when I got into middle school I realized that nice people only get used and bullied. So did I.. got filmed in the WC secretly and blackmailed that way so I would do everything they want. I tried to trust a teacher.. I talked to one and he promised me to do something without them finding out, but he never ever did. School was hell. Home was hell. Dreams were hell. Could never be myself. Never had the chance to express myself. I always walked around with a mask.. since I was a child. I am probably one of the biggest liars that exist. Why? Because I always lie.. 24/7. To others and to myself. The smiles I fake. The times I say I feel happy. The times I say I stopped smoking. All the times I said I was at school while I was out and smoked and hung out with my friend because I couldn't take the stress at the moment. <Mod Edit: Threatening to harm others> To hell with both of them!!!