They win

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Alien.Girl, Jan 18, 2013.

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  1. Alien.Girl

    Alien.Girl Member

    I can't take this anymore. If this is a life i don't want to live it anymore. Everything is so overwhelming and i just can't cope with it. The drs don't want to help me. I got a letter from the personality disorder clinic and they imply i make it all up. So fuck them i don't have to be there problem anymore. People treat like a child even though im nearly 26 for fuck sake i know what to in life i started living by myself at 16. Well fuck you all no one cares about me im just the girl to beshit on well im not going to take it anymore.

    I know youll be happy about this you win alright you dont have to haunt my dreams anymore. You dont have to go out of your way to make me sad. I wont be your problem anymore even though in the end its your fault i was born!!! Do you feel clever that you pushed your own daughter to this? I might cut myself to shreds i know how much you used to smile when i had cut up.. all i want to do is to make you happy and im just not good enough for you. Well smile now you have fucking won.

    Everyone just leave me the fuck alone!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
  2. NottiShark

    NottiShark Member

    Probably we all have feelings that we do our best for others and get nothing in return. We think that others don't care about us, don't give a shit but in most cases is not true!

    First of all, Have you talked to your mom about how are you feeling ? Have you told her that her behavior pushes you to the edge and you have suicidal thoughts ? Try that and see how she responds.

    BTW: YOU are from my city !
  3. Alien.Girl

    Alien.Girl Member

    Thanks for your reply.

    I dont talk to my mum because of all the abuse. I have a restraining order out against her as she has tried to kill me on more than one occasion. At the minute im having alot of hallucinations that she is in the room and really bad nightmares so even though i dont see her she still hurts me every day does that make sense?

    Yay nottingham pride
  4. NottiShark

    NottiShark Member

    oh fuck, I feel really sorry for you. Most people dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts and other similar shit have great support from their families (parents esp) but it sounds like your mom is far from that. I actually fucking admire you for dealing with that. you are incredible strong.

    I know suicide might sounds tempting just to punish your mom but pls just try out some counselling first before jumping from corner house ;) To me it seems that you maybe don't have any serious mental issues (like clinical depression or bipolar) you just feel extremely aggrieved which is absolutely understandable and thats way counselling might be extremely helpful to you.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Just a :hug: :)
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