I don't even remember what I was crying about. Something about how all communities are bad, online and offline, and it's probably better to give up and live on your own. Tons of people from my community don't even like me. Neighbours, old people from school. We have neighbours who hate our whole family who ignore us all the time. I have people from my old school who just ignore me as they walk by, people I knew for years, people who were "childhood friends". I'm rotten stupid person. The family I live with can't even get my name right. They mix me up with other relatives. I'm that unimportant and small and insignificant and everything I've gone through doesnt count, so they can't even remember my name. I think of killing myself, but I don't want to die, I don't want to kill the child I used to be, I feel sorry for her. Now I'm crying again. Sometimes I see on the news some segment after someone dies and people say oh he was such a wonderful person, we'll miss him so much, but who will say that for me? My mom, my dad? That's all? Will they even think anything good about me? They don't now, they're not proud of me. When my mom's friends brag about their children, she doesn't brag about me, she brags about my other relatives. I'm 22 and no one's ever wanted other than trying to convince to have sex with them. I just go with it because it's the only attention I get I guess, and I fall in "love" with these people. I keep on thinking "don't hurt me, don't hurt yourself."