Courage - I suffer from PTSD too. And it took me a long time to get more or less out or under control. It never leaves entirely - especially when I dream and wake up because I relived what caused it. I do not know what could help you. For me it started with bad things (lots of booze, medication) and it took me nearly 18 months to get out of that. Sport, walking, doing something good helps. I wrote a book about all this - that also helped a lot.
I really wish you can get out of this horrible thing.