things are getting pretty bad

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jbd, Dec 17, 2011.

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  1. jbd

    jbd New Member

    i've never felt worse in my life than i do right now. the meds i'm on are helpful but they interfere with sleep. for the past week i have slept maybe two hours a night, but i'm too tired to get up and do anything. nothing helps. so what do you do? you lay in bed and think. and you never reflect on anything positive. mostly regret. it's a time that seems specifically set aside as a personal hell. i guess i'm not really suicidal, but close, as this time of night i have the recurring thought that i'm going to die alone and it may as well be mercifully soon. i'm afraid to go to bed unless i'm so exhausted that i can fall asleep immediately, which is rare, even amidst the sleep deprivation. i don't want to adjust the medication because the results are unpredictable, i've been through that numerous times and it is always ugly, but maybe i have to.

    my life circumstances are horrible, which doesn't help of course. i've not given up. but year after year things never improve, and i'm generally miserable. i'm getting very thin. i didn't eat today and felt no hunger. i think this is a side effect of a different med combined with an odd attitude towards food, it's like I hate it for keeping me alive, but of course I'm helpless to avoid eating, so i guess this is more like self-harm than anorexia.

    anyways. i don't think i will go into any more detail, i just felt like sharing for whatever reason. thx
  2. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    (((Jbd)) welcome to SF.. i think you should get ahold of the professional that scripts your meds.. lack of sleep and food has serious effects on you.. a sleeping med which also helps with depression is trazodone.. knocks me out and to bed hour hour after taking my nighttime meds. usually get 5 or maybe 6 hours till i wake up first time.. if not this med there are others that help with sleep also.. reach out for some help from the professionals.

    lack of sleep and food is going to catch up with you very soon.. need to work on this before you wind up in the psych ward.. best wishes and take care, Jim
  3. sevendust

    sevendust Active Member

    Hi jbd, sorry your having difficulties. If meds are causing you, not to sleep well, you should contact prescribing doctor, for something that can work better for you. I'm the same way, I'm a chronic insomniac, I have to be exhausted, before I can fall asleep, cause my mind is alway's working non stop. I have severe sleep deprivation, think that's part of the reason I feel suicidal all the time. That's great your not giving up, sometimes all we need is for someone to listen. I live alone, and battling negative thoughts, can wear me out sometimes. Food is essential to the body, at one time I stopped eating and lost nearly 100 lbs, I was to tired to eat.
  4. Severijn

    Severijn Well-Known Member

    Hi jbp.

    What helped a lot for me were good sleeping medications. I got temazepam and zyprexa, which make you very sleepy.

    You should bring this up with a GP/psychiatrist. I'm sure they can help you with that.

    With sleeplessness comes very bad feelings. Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing and can make you (temporarily) depressed.

    Sleep meds can help a lot.
  5. jbd

    jbd New Member

    alright i'm seeing somebody thursday and i will ask about these, thx
  6. sevendust

    sevendust Active Member

    Sleep deprivation can drain the life out of a person, before I was diagnosed with apnea, I could hardly function, I was practically bedridden, now I can walk, but I'm still extremely tired from other health issues.

    Hope you get the answers you seek soon.
  7. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Dear jbd,

    I once had a professional tell me that finding the right mix of meds for myself was like finding the right car to drive... to try and see which one is a good fit for each situation. At the time, I had been so weary about changing my prescription too. Like you mentioned above, I was also concerned about the unpredictability of each med's side effects, but some meds could help tremendously with your sleeping habits. Maybe even a tweak in the prescription dosage could make a world of difference. Anyways, be sure to let us know what your psychiatrist says when you tell him or her about your trouble sleeping. Good luck at the appointment, and take care!

  8. Sleep

    Sleep Active Member

    I take a 30mg mirtazapine tablet before I go to bed which is an anti-depressant and sleeping drug. It's helped a lot, without it I would have done myself in by now.

    Really worried about what my key worker will say to his colleagues before Christmas though as he noticed my arm was covered in cuts, scabs and bruises today through self-harming. It must have looked awful to him as he confronted me. That'll probably keep me awake in case he blabs and gets me seeing a psychiatrist and counselling again. :sad:
  9. Theo_H

    Theo_H Member

    I don't have a problem with sleep, but I'm curious as to have any of you guys experienced any long-term side effects from taking sleeping pills in a regular basis? Also is there other ways of treating sleep deprivation without taking medications?
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