I am not sure what to do now. Things are getting worse. I am not sure how I can cope with all these feelings of wanting to self harm. The thoughts of ending it all are coming back in to my head. I don't know why. Nothing is going on. I have still not heard anything from this organisation I was put in contact with. I know the nurse man said I know where he is if I need anything but I don't know what to say to him. Also I am worried as I filled in a survey thing through uni for the chance to win some money and I have been asked to go in and talk about my answers with a PHD student in Psychiatry. Not sure what it will involve. What it is. I am not sure if I have to. I have just had an email asking me to go in and talk to them. Am I that screwed up? I removed some stitches today from my leg. I know I shouldn't be doing it myself but I can't keep going to see the nurse every week to have stitches removed and then explaining myself. One of the reasons I drink after I have self harmed is so I can cope with the hospital better. I can't deal with people asking me questions about it but then at the same time I know unless I do start giving answers I am not going to get the help that I need. But then I worry about having to go in to hospital, it ruining my chances on my course and of course people finding out what is really going on in my head. I wont obvisously discuss methods on here but I am been looking at ways it could be seen as being accidental. I keep thinking about stepping out in to the traffic but then I wouldn't want some poor person thinking that if they could have done anything about it. I am sick of feeling like this. I know I am going to get to that stage soon where I struggle to cope. I think I am going to have to ring that nurse man aren't I?