Things don't affect me like they used to

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by chrissetsuko, Jan 27, 2010.

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  1. chrissetsuko

    chrissetsuko New Member

    My boyfriend broke my nose two months ago and I don't know how to get over it. I keep seeing his forehead coming right towards me sometimes (flashback). Other times, I am just really sensitive and scared about my nose getting hit. I guess the telling part of this is, is that this is not the worse thing he has done. I know people would look down on me, call me dumb or tell me I'm asking for it but I feel as though I need to help him through this. I do not consider myself to be greatly unintelligent, I have some goals for myself. I am getting ready for graduate school but it feels like I have no more drive to go on, there's no possible way I could make anything out of myself. This is an absurdly sick relationship but I love him so much, apparently much more than he could love me.

    I guess I am just wondering how long can I keep having these flashbacks. What really hurts sometimes more than the obvious pain is that he knows my story and where I have come from. That my father sexually abused me and I had to protect my little sister as best as I could for so long, but I couldn't always protect her. I survived childhood cancer that took away my ability to have children, not that I really feel like having them anyway. I am actually a pretty upbeat person, always joking but that's the only side I want people to see. It hurts that he knows these horrific things I have been through but he contributes to them anyway. I have an extremely horrible time reaching out to people but I figured what the hey, I'm up and I am horribly depressed. Even if no one listens, it feels somewhat better to see it in writing.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 27, 2010
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey sorry you are suffering so much. I hope you brought charges against him I hope you have kicked him out. You have to walk away from this and go get some help. Go to a shelter that helps abused women they will give you protection they will give you skills to survive on your own. Get out now before he kills you which he will next time if not then the next one. You deserve better than this go get out get some help. Phone crisis line they will give you numbers in your area for abused women shelters GET OUT now.
     
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