Things getting on top of me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by benny123, May 19, 2009.

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  1. benny123

    benny123 New Member


    I've felt depressed for a few years now mainly due to my personality being that i am very shy and quiet, this has caused me alot of pain in the past, but i won't go into detail in an effort to keep it shorter

    This has caused me pain in the past but i have never felt suicidal. but recently my life seems to have gone down the pan. about September last year i was happy i had a girlfriend that i loved and had just left my old dead end depressing job for a new career with plenty of oppertunities in a type of work i enjoyed. Then everything seemed to go wrong, my girlfriend finished me ( for the usual reasons being quiet etc) and 6 months later i lost my job due to the company closing down, i am now out of work and really struggling with bills and i'm very close to being kicked out of my home because i can't keep up with the rent. and to top it off i'm losing my hair at the age of 23.
    i'm looking for work but its very difficult to get a job in the current climate especially seen as i don't have any significant experience in any particular field.

    All this is just adding to the stres i've had before and i'm struggling to cope, i can't sleep, i have no energy during the day and i'm losing my motivation and i can't enjoy the things i used to and i break down in tears at times because i can't cope (only in private though). i've cut myself a few times just to see how much it would hurt and to see if i could go through with slitting my wrists. i'm feeling desperate and i don't know what to do.

    i know i should try and see a doctor about it but i find it really hard to open up and talk to people a bout this in peron. i really don't know what to do.

    sorry its long
    thanks for taking time to read it.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Benny and welcome...glad you found us...YES, you should see someone to get the help you need through this difficult time...we are not meant to solve our problems alone and there is no Zen in suffering...why not write down what you want to tell your MD and read from the paper? S/he can refer you to someone who understands how shy you are and respect the bravery it took to get help...please do not let your difficulties get in the way of getting deserve to feel better! all the best, J
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Glad you found SF. Sorry you find yourself falling so much further. But now you have a place to talk about how you feel and receive some support. But you should still try and find some RL help too. Try talking to your doctor about your thoughts. Your doc undertands you and will best know who you can contact to help you further with these issues. Most are one on one and sure it may take a couple of visits but I think you will find yourself comfortable enough to talk. Somehow it seems a little easier when you are in the presence of someone who understands. And you may even find that once you start the dam will break and you wont be able to stop.
    But in the mean time you are here. Read some of the other threads. Make contact with members that share some of the same issues as you. Keep posting and get it out instead of bottling it up. Even try chat if you want to "talk" to someone. You are on the net so being brave is a little easier than in RL. Good luck and keep the posts coming.
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