Well, long story short. I'm 25 next month, and I've been struggling with depression for many years, only recently has it gotten bad, here and there.. I live on my own, and work part time, and recently have I noticed that I've turned into an alcoholic and weed chronic. Most of my money has been going toward spending it at bars on alcohol, weed, and more beer.. and It's gotten so bad to a point that I've gotten into grocery money just to suoport my habit. I also find that when I'm sober I care not to make new friends or get to know new people. I am also in the "I just don't give a fuck anymore" state of mind, with only suicide as a long term goal.. I don't see anything for myself at the moment, I mean, I do... and mostly I DO NOT. I just feel like a failure at life right now, I hate my job, I procrastinate and I am just lacking the motivation that I truly need. But I just feel as if I don't care anymore, I'm tired of living here, I feel trapped in the four walls of my mind. I want to get better, but I just am too mentally weak to even give a shit, because I've had it.