My life has probably been more difficult than some and easier than others. If I could go back I wish I would have taken better care of me heart. I opened it easily desperately looking for love and validation - a reason for being here for living. My heart has been ripped out, thrown here and there patched back up by well meaning therapists. I still haven't learned I recently showed a glimpse of this battered useless life preserver to someone and I fear that once again I am to be betrayed. Me, my heart, my soul, all that I am wish now for it all to be over. When pain outweighs suffering it's time. I'm not even frightened anymore I just don't have the strenght to heal my heart again.