Things in my head

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by na-taya, Aug 9, 2016.

  1. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    You are pathetic will never be anything you want to be or try to be.
    A useless waste of a human.
    I hate myself more than anybody else could
    I can't fell like the worst person.

    Why am I even trying to get this out? I'm still gonna feel the same.

    My life is worthless to me and those around.
    I can't even get out how bad my head feels to me right now.

    I'm so exhausted but still not tied enough to sleep.

    Why am I continueing this battle day in day out, granted some days the battle is less yes, but its still always a battle.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hugs. You are not pathetic. You are a good person.
    MisterBGone and SinisterKid like this.
  3. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    Hey na-taya,
    I hate that you're feeling this way. :( I know I'm technically not "around" you, but you are not worthless. You were here for me when I felt that I was invisible here and it's always a pleasure hearing from you. You always seem to message exactly when I need it.

    You're not pathetic. It's just the evil voice inside of your head telling you that. I hope we here at SF can sway that voice to the other side to see what we see. A beautiful soul. Yeah I sound hokey, but I don't care because I believe it and see it.

    Hope you can get some rest...Stay safe. x

    SinisterKid likes this.
  4. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    I am not stupid [most of the time] and I can read and I read a lot of posts here and its as abvious as the nose [yes, the big one] on my face that you are neither worthless or pathetic. Thats the tiredness talking, nothing else.

    Hopefully with some rest, things will look a bit different. It never ceases to amaze me what sleep can achieve. After so many sleepless nights myself, I know how I feel when I do manage a half decent nights sleep.

    SF is with you, we all care and want to support you and always will.
  5. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    @Rockclimbinggirl thank you I try to be a good person but I'm still patgetic :(:( but thank you for your kind words.

    @Brittless *hugs* thanks so much for your kind words. I am glad I was there for you when you felt invisable, because you are so amazing yourself.

    @SinisterKid I got a decent sleep in thanks to meds from psychiatrist. Sleep didn't improve anything I still feel as awful and horrible about myself.

    The battle I have against myself is getting feirce, I'm getting weak.
    I don't want to keep going around like this. I want to get off, yet I know getting off isn't really a suitable option.

    I feel my wheel spinning I'm just not moving.
  6. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    I guess sleep is not always the solution or even a part of it in your case, although it could be argued that a whole row of decent sleep nights might improve things? Certainly, what I have read and what we have discussed in groups all indicate that sleep is a very important factor in depressive illness. But that is a generalization that is not applicable to you as a individual. I am sorry that you dont feel any improvement in anything after a reasonable nights sleep.

    I wish I could be of more use to you in your battle. I think I need to read more about you and the issues you face so that I can understand more, then I might have a suggestion or two that are of some help. Right now, I can only tell you that you are a valued member of this community and we all want to support you any way we possibly can.
  7. Shebesh

    Shebesh New Member

    Hi na taya
    I'm everything you described and much much more and i happened to believe it is the truth . My advice to you is get rid of everything that gives you a shitty feeling from friends to family to the car , cellphone....... If you have one person(thing) in your life , you have one problem , if you have 10 people(things ) in your life you have 10 problem . simplify and remember 90% of what we have in our life we do not really need and it is a source of depression