I don't like it when people just toss around the words "I'm depressed" and then follow it up with a reason like "My favorite team lost" or "I didn't get the new laptop I wanted". It shouldn't bother me, but it does. It just seems so...I dunno...shallow or something. It's like "there are people out there who are barely getting enough to eat every day and all you can think about is the fact that the Magic didn't win their basketball game?" When they just say "ugh, I'm depressed" or "ugh, I want to kill myself" just JOKINGLY or because they're just exaggerating, it makes me feel so...acutely different. I highly doubt that they've ever seriously wanted to kill themselves, and I also doubt that they really know what it's like to be depressed. Then I just feel more isolated from everyone else. And then, of course, there's my oh-so-sensitive parents. "Only you can pull yourself out of this" Yeah, I know that. I do try. But then things happen and I spiral back down to even farther away from normality than I already was. I'm getting tired of fighting a battle where I lose no matter what I try. And then "As soon as you hit rock bottom, you'll find the willpower to climb back up." Dammit, suicide is my rock bottom, and by then it's too late to change. I need to figure out how to help myself BEFORE I hit rock bottom. While I was on vacation, my brother told me to commit suicide twice and planned to kill me about a thousand times in one day. I know he was joking, but that's NOT the kind of thing I need to hear. I know I'm worthless, and I know that I'm not needed, but don't tell me to go kill myself. It was so, so, so tempting to take his advice that day....he doesn't even know, and I'm not going to tell him. He doesn't need to know how fucked up I am. Some of these things shouldn't bother me at all. But I can't help but take it to heart and realise how utterly different I am from almost everyone I know, and how entirely.....far down I feel, I guess.