Things seems out of control

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brknsilence, Aug 27, 2015.

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  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I had thoughts again today. Just things seemed out of control. I felt I was to blame on everything. So the thoughts were there. Just wanted to disappear. Just seems like I keep failing. Just not getting it. Plus the eating disorder is getting hard to fight too. :( I'm just really sad and disappointed in myself....
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Don't feel sad, there is always tomorrow :)

    Go to your doctors today and explain that the eating disorder is getting out of control!! I hate to see you like this and hope you get better soon :hugs:
     
  3. What

    What Active Member

    Which ED do you have (if you don't mind sharing)? I think sometimes EDs can be parasuicidal behavior, or red flags when symptoms flare up. I struggle with bulimia off/on depending on how bad my depression/anxiety are. A former T told me that since I knew I was risking heart failure every time I purged, that it was like I was making suicide attempts every day. Not sure if you are similar, but if so, then it's a sign that things are serious if your ED is flaring up (binging and starving yourself can also be dangerous, so can laxatives). Do you think there is a chance that you are channeling suicidal feelings into your ED? Just something to watch out for.
     
  4. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I struggled off and on with anorexia and bulimia. At one point I used the anorexia as my slow suicide attempt. I ended up in the hospital for 3 1/2 months. At times, I still use the ED as my attempt to commit suicide. I just don't know what else to do. My therapy and my doctor ended since I'm moving soon. I'll have to find a new one after I move. Hope it won't be too long.
     
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