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Things that are triggers

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by john dough, Nov 22, 2009.

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  1. john dough

    john dough Member

    I have been wondering lately, if I should get rid of things that trigger my negative emotions. For example, I have pictures of my ex-girlfriend, her son who at the time thought He was mine. I will take out the box from time to time, thumb through the photos, and remember what it was like to be happy. I can see the happiness on my face, there was a sparkle in my eyes, and I had a smile in all the pics. It has been 15 years now, and rarely do I have a smile in any recent photos, and that is only when I know it is being taken. I have thought about throwing them out, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I have thought about Mailing them to her, I think she may want them. I spent Hours online searching, and think I finally found her. I'm not sure if I want to get back in touch with her, But I obviously never got closure. We had a bad break up, and I haven't talked to her since.

    I wonder if remembering what it was like to be happy, is worth the realization of how miserable I am now.

    I wonder if I should make contact with her, or just live with the uncertainty.

    I wonder....
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think if the pictures bring you pain then mail them to her. If you can look at them and remember you can be happy and were happy then keep them as they tell you that there will be a time when happiness may come again. Who knows who you will meet to bring that kind joy in your life again. If you have unfinished business then definietly call her and just talk and say what needs to be said and leave it with that. take care.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I don't think you should keep the pictures around if they bring you nothing but pain. It's not fair to you. If you think getting in touch with her will bring you any closure, then it would be worth it. But if you think it's only going to cause you more pain, it might be better to leave things alone.

  4. Sidewalk Slam

    Sidewalk Slam Well-Known Member

    Give them to a good friend to hold on to. I have a few journals filled up that I just don't even want to look at at all for a few more years.. My friend has been holding on to them (well the first one and then the ones I give her along the way) since I was 14. I'm 20 now, and I don't plan on taking them back any time soon. Probably not for another 5 years at least, but I know they will always be safe at her place and I know they will always be there when I want them back.
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