Nothing will ever change. Ten years down the line I will still be the same exact person with the same exact fears, insecurities and negative qualities as i am now. Maybe I will have a good job or I’ll look better but none of that shit matters. I will still be a worthless nobody.
Sure, I might forget about the negatives of my life for a little. I might even be happy for a while. But none of that will last. Happiness is just a delusion. I’m still going to be the same fucked up person inside. A complete nobody. The same person that I’ve been since I was little. I dont mean anything to anyone, not to my family, not to my friends, not even to myself.
What even is the point in living if nothing will get better? God I wish I wasn’t such a pussy. I could end it right now, but the concept of death scares me out of my mind. Maybe if I’m lucky death will come swiftly and out of nowhere, so I won’t have time to worry.
Nobody would even remember me if I died. I’m replaceable, even within my own family. If i ended it all right now, I’d just be a number. Nobody would look back at me. I would just fade into nothingness. Betrayed, forgotten, abandoned. I would be the same in death as I was in life.
Sure, I might forget about the negatives of my life for a little. I might even be happy for a while. But none of that will last. Happiness is just a delusion. I’m still going to be the same fucked up person inside. A complete nobody. The same person that I’ve been since I was little. I dont mean anything to anyone, not to my family, not to my friends, not even to myself.
What even is the point in living if nothing will get better? God I wish I wasn’t such a pussy. I could end it right now, but the concept of death scares me out of my mind. Maybe if I’m lucky death will come swiftly and out of nowhere, so I won’t have time to worry.
Nobody would even remember me if I died. I’m replaceable, even within my own family. If i ended it all right now, I’d just be a number. Nobody would look back at me. I would just fade into nothingness. Betrayed, forgotten, abandoned. I would be the same in death as I was in life.