My life has been deteriorating since I started high school, and the decline has sped up in recent times. My performance in school has dropped dramatcially. I went from an honors student in grade school to failing a class for the first time in college. I'm almost 19 and I've never had a job. I lived at home my freshman year, and it looks like I'm doing it again as a sophomore. I've been gaining weight for the past few years, I can't go a day without eating fast food. I have no friends now...I haven't heard from any of them in at least a year. I talk to virtually NO ONE outside of my family...I didn't make any new friends my entire first year of college, not even an acquaintance. Even on the internet I rarely communicate with others, I just lurk around. I never use IM. Needless to say, I'm a virgin...I've never had a girlfriend, been on a date or had my first kiss. Hell, I've never even had any friends who were female. I don't have anyone over anymore, all I do is sit in my parents' basement and watch TV. I've been seeing therapists on and off the past 2 years and have taken various medications, none of which have helped at all. I just don't know how to talk to people, "conversations" with me consist of the other person asking me questions, me mumbling back two-word answers, and awkward silences. I first started having suicidal thoughts when I was 16, but they have intensified in the past few weeks. Several possible methods have been running through my mind, and I'm afraid I'll actually go through with one of them. Right now it seems like the only way out..there is no sign that my life will get any better.