Things won't improve

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jscott, Jul 9, 2007.

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  1. jscott

    jscott New Member

    My life has been deteriorating since I started high school, and the decline has sped up in recent times. My performance in school has dropped dramatcially. I went from an honors student in grade school to failing a class for the first time in college. I'm almost 19 and I've never had a job. I lived at home my freshman year, and it looks like I'm doing it again as a sophomore. I've been gaining weight for the past few years, I can't go a day without eating fast food. I have no friends now...I haven't heard from any of them in at least a year. I talk to virtually NO ONE outside of my family...I didn't make any new friends my entire first year of college, not even an acquaintance. Even on the internet I rarely communicate with others, I just lurk around. I never use IM. Needless to say, I'm a virgin...I've never had a girlfriend, been on a date or had my first kiss. Hell, I've never even had any friends who were female. I don't have anyone over anymore, all I do is sit in my parents' basement and watch TV. I've been seeing therapists on and off the past 2 years and have taken various medications, none of which have helped at all. I just don't know how to talk to people, "conversations" with me consist of the other person asking me questions, me mumbling back two-word answers, and awkward silences. I first started having suicidal thoughts when I was 16, but they have intensified in the past few weeks. Several possible methods have been running through my mind, and I'm afraid I'll actually go through with one of them. Right now it seems like the only way out..there is no sign that my life will get any better.
  2. LonelyTraveler

    LonelyTraveler Well-Known Member

    Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the next 8 years aren't any better. In fact, the older you are with no friends, the worse people think of you. If I knew at 19 what I know now. I'd straight up be dead. No lie. It's been a waste of time trying to build a life when no friends can be found.

    Take that information however you wish. We're all here to help. :)
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Are you TRYING to make him kill himself? He is 19!

    No big deal you've never had a job, you are a student!
    You can make friends, fake a little confidence until you gain some. Concentrate on your studies, join some clubs at college to help you to meet some people and above all, RELAX. Your whole life is ahead of you, and your lack of dates is ok at your age! Half the people I know lived with their parents at your age and are happy, healthy and MARRIED today. Don't pressure yourself too much. Relax and let it unfold before you.
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